From Head to Heart: A Journey of Embodiment Through Dance
Out of your head and into your body…
Sounds like a simple concept, right?
And I imagine for most of you it’s not that easy…
Like most things in life, embodiment, or being in your body, is understood on a spectrum.
I imagine there are some of you who are starting to get the whole feel it to heal its thing, while there are others who feel more like you’ve heard this what feels like a million and one times and still have no idea what it means.
Just because we don’t fully understand something doesn’t mean it isn’t important, and I fully understand that it works in reverse, too.
However, I am here to talk to you about getting into your body and the 15-year journey it’s been for me to get back into it.
My hope is that as you read along, you start to glean some insight and even hope into ways that you can take steps towards living life from the crown down instead of the neck up.
I have a LONG history with dance…
I have done ballet, tap, jazz, AND dabbled in modern.
I left my dance shoes on the metaphorical floor 15 years ago, and this year, in fact, just a month ago, I decided it was time to pull them off the shelf, dust them off, and put them back on.
Only, instead of going back to what was familiar to me and my body I decided that I was going to try something new.
I did some digging in my local community Facebook groups and found a studio that offered private hip-hop classes.
A week later, I took my first class.
Humbling is the word that comes to mind.
As do the words sore, stiff, and awkward.
I knew I had spent many years living in my head, but what I didn’t realize was how disconnected I was from my body.
All it took was an hour in the studio to SEE what the last 15 years of striving to climb success ladders, impress people that didn’t matter, and survive had done to the once very strong connection that existed between my head, heart, and body.
I walked out of the studio proud that I had kept up, excited to go back, and a bit sad that I had let things go this far and reached this point.
Little did I know that saying yes to this adventure would be yet another metaphorical classroom life was leading me into.
Let me tell you what I love about hip-hop.
Aside from my completely embodied and utterly fearless 24-year-old instructor.
I love that it’s slowly yet effectively ironing the good girl out of me.
For all the times in my life, I was told:
- Smile
- Sit up straight
- Shoulders back
- Make eye contact
- Stay within these lines
- Be inviting but not too inviting
I’m told on a weekly basis:
- Relax
- Slouch
- Take up space
- Pop your chest
- Stop playing small
- Show me how wide and deep your hips can roll
It’s been such a workout for my mind.
My body wants to go there; it’s my mind that stops me.
The voice that says ew, stop, what are you doing, look at you, you’re too old for this always arrives in the tone of all the people in my life that kept me small because my bigness triggered them.
Not because my bigness was wrong, more so because it provoked theirs alive, and that scared the shit out of them.
As a human, if all you’ve ever known is small, you’re inclined to stay small because change is scary, so much so that it provokes your brain to start screaming, “We’re going to die.”
And yet, have you noticed that change, the very thing that triggers your brain into thinking you’re going to die, often provokes you to tingle from head to toe… vibrating with life in the most orgasmic way?
When’s the last time you felt that alive and in your body SOBER and outside of sex …you may not even get to this place during sex…
The interesting thing is the support my instructor provides me mirrors and reflects back to me the support I provide to the women who bet on themselves, deciding to go ALL in when they choose to work with me.
I would provoke you the same way I would any of the women who walk into the community, in much the same way I am being provoked by the metaphoric and literal reminders to…
- Slouch
- Breathe
- Take up space
- Stop sucking it in
- Relax your butt hole, pelvis, and jaw
- Allow your process to get messy and discover the magic in it
- Find that voice, the one that sounds like home to you, and listen to it until it becomes second nature and without question
- Put the sword down; you are no longer at war with your body; it’s your greatest ally. What’s your peace offering
I welcome all the “misfit,” “mislabeled,” misrepresented parts of you…
It’s an honor to walk with them as they walk their way home…
Back to you.
If you’re done messing around with the fluff of protocols that haven’t been developed with your uniqueness in mind.
If you’re done running tests to figure out “what’s wrong” with you and instead using them to understand your greatest allies’ cry for help, you’re done playing small and ready to step into your version of big.
It’s time to step into making magic with someone who sees the brilliance inside you and will reflect it back to you.
Statistic Reference: CDC
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