Trusting Yourself: The Foundation of an Authentic Life – Have you ever experienced this: you’re in a meeting and have a brilliant idea, but you stay silent? Or you see a job posting that excites you, but you talk yourself out of applying?
That’s what happens when you don’t trust yourself—and it’s costing you more than you realize.
I work with people who have stayed in jobs they hated for years, passed up investment opportunities that would have changed their lives, and struggled to make meaningful friendships. When we look back, they all say the same thing: “I wish I had just trusted myself and taken the risk.”
The problem is not that you lack strong instincts. It’s that you have, like all of us, been conditioned to ignore them. Here are a few ways that can help you get back to trusting yourself:
Unlearning: Stop Believing Stories That Aren’t True
What I’ve learned through my own work and work with others over the years is that most of our self-doubt isn’t even ours. It’s programming picked up along the way—from parents who meant well but projected their fears, teachers who had limited vision, or a culture that profits from our insecurities.
“We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem,” says Iyanla Vanzant, and she’s right.
If you don’t believe you’re worth a promotion, you won’t ask for one. If you don’t think you deserve great friends, you’ll settle for people who drain your energy.
Start paying attention to your inner critic. When it says, “You’re not qualified” or “Who do you think you are?” ask yourself: Is this actually true, or is this old programming?
Most of the time, it’s the latter.
The goal isn’t to become arrogant—it’s to stop letting inherited fears run your life.
Returning: Remember Who You Really Are
Before the world told you who to be, you had preferences, dreams, and a natural way of moving through life. That person is still there, underneath all the shoulds and supposed-to’s.
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are,” Carl Jung said. Not who your parents wanted you to be, not who your industry expects, but who you actually are when nobody’s watching.
This isn’t about finding yourself through expensive retreats or personality tests. It’s simpler: What makes you lose track of time? What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? What kind of people do you feel most relaxed around?
Your body already knows the answers. You feel energized when you’re aligned with your truth and drained when you’re performing a role that doesn’t fit.
Reclaiming: Build a Life That Actually Fits You
This is where self-trust becomes action. It’s choosing the career path that excites you over the one that just looks good on paper. It’s ending relationships that require you to be someone else. It’s saying yes to opportunities that scare you but feel right.
Here’s what I’ve learned from everyone who’s done this work with me: The regret of not trying always hurts more than the fear of failing. Every person who took the leap—whether it was starting their own business, moving to a new city, or pursuing a relationship they thought was “out of their league”—says they wish they’d done it sooner. You already know what you need to do. The question isn’t whether you’re capable (you are) or whether you deserve it (you do). The question is whether you’ll trust yourself enough to act on what you know.
Why This Matters Now
When you don’t trust yourself, you stay small. You take jobs that pay the bills but kill your spirit. You surround yourself with people who are safe but uninspiring. You watch opportunities pass by because you’re convinced you’re not ready.
But when you do trust yourself, everything changes. Not because life becomes perfect, but because you stop betraying yourself. You start making choices based on what’s true for you, not what’s expected of you.
The people in your life who love the real you will celebrate this shift. The ones who prefer your smaller version?
They’ll adjust or move on. Either way, you win. Your intuition has been right more often than you think.
Your ideas are better than you give them credit for. Your dreams are more achievable than you’ve convinced yourself.
Trust yourself and make the move. Your future self is counting on it.
“Your intuition has been right more often than you think. Your ideas are better than you give them credit for. Your dreams are more achievable than you’ve convinced yourself.” – Parinaz Shams
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