If I knew when I first became a mother, what I know now, I would have been a better mother. I wasn’t a bad mother for all practical purposes, but without the self-worth I recently cultivated, I put most of my energies into overmanaging my children’s school projects, writing assignments, and other extracurricular activities. My helicopter tendencies, perfectionistic expectations, and constant searching for validation through the achievements of my children kept me and my ego very busy.
I googled “award-winning science projects” and ordered every book on the subject. I mean, my ego couldn’t afford for them to get a less-than-honorable mention. God forbid! Each year I baked and brought to school Halloween cookies that would be the envy of Martha Stewart and every other parent too busy to spend three whole days slaving in the kitchen. I even wrote my children’s college essays. Ok, they made some slight revisions (which I vehemently opposed), but they did get into their first-choice schools, and when they did, for a moment, I felt better about myself.