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Rewriting My Story:

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How a Growth Mindset Helped Me Overcome Cancer

Rewriting My Story: How a Growth Mindset Helped Me Overcome Cancer. After hearing the words “you have cancer,” I felt like my world had stopped. I felt like I was screaming in a crowd of people, but no one could hear me.

I felt left behind and completely alone.

A cancer diagnosis creates a storm of strong emotions, and it forces us to evaluate our lives and our mortality. In addition to what our bodies are going through medically, our minds are experiencing extreme trauma with feelings of panic, devastation, and fear.

For a long time, I thought of my life in two parts: one before cancer and one after.

Reminiscing about the “good old days” can be both a blessing and a curse. I hated the “new” me, and I would often think about what it felt like to have my old body and my old lighthearted spirit. But the hard truth was, the good old days were gone, and I had to find a way to let them go.

Cancer changes lives forever.

But that doesn’t mean life can never get better. As a matter of fact, life after cancer can be bigger and better than it ever was.

But only if we change our mindset.

Mindset refers to a person’s view and core assumptions. It is the lens by which we see and evaluate ourselves and the outside world. Our mindset is the basis for our overall mental health. It influences how we perceive information, our feelings, and the overall perception and memory of an experience.

According to Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck, there are two basic mindsets: fixed and growth. If you have a fixed mindset, you believe your abilities are fixed traits and therefore cannot be changed. You may also believe that your talent and intelligence alone leads to success, and effort is not required.

On the flipside, if you have a growth mindset, you believe that your talents and abilities can be developed over time through effort and persistence. You believe that everyone can get smarter or more talented if they work at it.

An easy example of the difference can be seen in how each reacts to failure. With a fixed mindset, failure is measured by what has been lost or not achieved because of our own inadequacies. With a growth mindset, failure is viewed as an opportunity to learn from the mistake and gain a new perspective from the experience.

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I carried a fixed mindset for a long time. I felt like it must be my fault because of something I had done (or hadn’t done). I needed to solve the “why did I get cancer” question so that I could make sure it would never happen again.

This was not healthy thinking.

I soon learned that I had a choice. I could either stay in the fixed mindset of fear and blame, or I could make a change and see what it felt like to think differently. I decided to make the change.

I remembered the day it happened.

I felt like I had just put on a new pair of glasses that allowed me to see things much differently than before. When I shifted my perspective, I could see that things really were different. Things were clearer than before, and the more I noticed, the more I saw. I could see that God was giving me the strength I needed to heal.

Blaming myself for my own cancer diagnosis was keeping in the “victim” category, which was exactly where I did not want to be.

There was no way out except to push through the hard parts and face the storm. It was time for me to stand up and face the anxiety and fear head-on and step past the old mindset to a place of greater freedom. I learned that I had to identify the hard feelings like fear, anger, sadness, and depression, and release them before I could become “wholly healed.”

Cancer took lots of things, but it didn’t get to take my happiness and joy. Those things still belonged to me, and they were worth fighting for.

There were plenty of things to fear during my cancer journey, but I realized there were also plenty of things to be excited about. From that moment on, I made the conscious decision to transform my mindset from the old, fixed way of thinking to a new more grateful and joyous mindset.

I saw the power.

I realized that if I could tap into my personal strength, I would be unstoppable. I could use that inner strength whenever I needed it. I was a warrior.

Gratitude helps us loosen our grip of control and recognize there are many small things that can bring us great joy. Like walking in nature, playing with the kids or grandkids, painting, singing, or meditation. These basic steps help bring the feeling of joy back, and when we feel joy, we can quickly be reminded of how good it feels to be happy again.

Here are four of my favorite ways to cultivate gratitude:

  • Trust Yourself. Before you can be grateful for things around you, you must be grateful for yourself. You must trust that you are a strong and beautiful human capable of whatever you set your mind to. You must be honest with yourself and know that your best is good enough. Try being your own best friend and see how that feels.
  • Don’t Judge. None of us knows what others might be going through. Don’t judge the actions of others so harshly. Give them the benefit of the doubt and try to empathize with what they might be going through. Assume the best and not the worst. Give more than you take and lend a helping hand if you can.
  • Create a Ritual. Make gratitude part of your daily routine. Practice the “Three Things I’m Grateful For” ritual every day. Soon you’ll see that it becomes part of your being and that you can’t start your day without first naming three things that you are most grateful for. According to experts, it takes just 66 days for a new behavior to become a habit. Give it a try!
  • Pay it Forward. The more we work together in support of one another, the better and stronger our communities become. Reach out to a friend and practice the gratitude ritual together. Soon, you will see the feelings of gratitude growing throughout your entire circle of friends and imagine how awesome that will be!

In her deeply personal book, Beautiful Lady, Geri Maroney courageously shares her cancer journey, offering hope and resilience to women facing similar challenges. With raw honesty and gentle humor, she provides inspiring insights and emotional tools to help patients navigate their transformative experience.

“Before you can be grateful for things around you, you must be grateful for yourself.” – Geri Maroney

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