Breaking Up to Break Free: Leaving Toxic Relationships – “You won’t break my soul …” —- Beyonce (2022)
Deciding to when or IF to leave a relationship isn’t a question anyone else can (or should) answer for you. And breaking free from a relationship that’s become toxic to you? Oh, that’s like untangling yourself from a human-sized knot of drama, insecurity, blame, and emotional rollercoasteryness.
Let’s say you’ve decided that someone (or some situation) is no longer a healthy or positive influence in your life. And you’re done. These ideas are for you AFTER you’ve decided you’re done with the dramatics – in order to help you NOT feel broken after a break-up.
Breaking up is tough but trust me, it’s worth it. I’ve done it. And every person I’ve coached who got out of relationships that weren’t healthy for them ended up happier than they ever felt possible! You deserve to live a life filled with love, happiness, and fulfillment, and leaving a toxic or unhealthy relationship is the first step toward realizing that vision.
So, grab your metaphorical machete because we’re hacking our way out of the toxicity knot using these mindset-shifting points:
1: Channel Your Inner Survivalist
Picture yourself as Bear Grylls in the relationship wilderness of what no longer works for you. You’ve got your mental compass, a backpack full of self-respect, and a determination to escape unscathed.
Embrace your inner survivalist and remember: you’re not just leaving a negative relationship; you’re reclaiming your sanity. Visualize yourself as a survivor in the wilderness figuring out any obstacle that comes your way.
2: Cutting the Cord
You know the feeling when your phone charger stops working, and suddenly you’re left with 2% battery charge and a sinking sense of dread? Yeah, toxic relationships are like faulty chargers draining your battery AKA your energy, especially your emotional energy.
It’s time to stop allowing someone to drain and suck the life out of you. Unplug them, baby! Recognize you deserve better and prioritize your well-being. This may involve setting boundaries, limiting contact, or ultimately ending contact altogether.
3: Rally Your Support Squad
You’re not in this alone! Leaving a toxic relationship can feel isolating, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Sometimes you might feel like the only dealing with the crazy, but you aren’t.
Rally your support squad – your friends, family, therapist, coach, dog, whoever makes you feel like you can do this. Reach out to the people in your life who have your back – those who can provide guidance and encouragement.
Surround yourself with people who lift you up, not tear you down, and who genuinely care about your happiness and will support you unconditionally.
4: Ghostbust Those Ghosts
No, I’m not talking about paranormal activity (unless your ex is haunting you, in which case, I’ve got a medium for you). I’m talking about the lingering ghosts of self-doubt, guilt, and regret haunting your thoughts.
Even after leaving a toxic relationship, it’s common to feel ashamed with lingering doubts and insecurities over everything. Now is the time to banish those thoughts using proactive steps to confront and dispel any “ghosts” or guilt from what happened.
Practice self-compassion and challenge negative self-talk. Seek coaching, therapy, or counseling to work through unresolved emotions and heal from past trauma and the toxicity you got “slimed” with.
5: Embrace Your Freedom
While it seems scary, leaving a toxic relationship opens up a world of possibilities. All those things you couldn’t do while in that relationship? Now you can eat what you want, watch what you want on TV, wear what you want, and do all the things to your heart’s desire. Make a list!
This is your chance to rediscover yourself, pursue your passions, and dance like nobody’s watching (unless you’re into that).
Take this opportunity to explore new interests, cultivate meaningful relationships, and prioritize your happiness.
6: Practice Radical Selfishness
Reclaiming your power!
After leaving a toxic relationship it’s important to prioritize self-acceptance and self-care. It’s time to shower yourself with the love and care you deserve. Your needs matter. Treat yourself like royalty, practice self-compassion, and remember that you are worthy of all the good things life has to offer.
Find self-care activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul. Surround yourself with positivity and mantras reinforcing your worthiness and value.
You’re not just leaving a toxic relationship; you’re choosing yourself, and that’s the ultimate power move.
7: Thrive, Don’t Just Survive
You’re not just here to survive; you’re here to thrive. Survival mode is what helped you get through the unhealthy relationship. Now that you’re on the Other Side you have a new slate toward building a happier and healthier life.
Pursue your dreams, cultivate meaningful relationships, and live life on your own terms. Set goals and embrace new opportunities with enthusiasm and optimism.
Carpe diem, my friend! Seize the opportunity to thrive and create the life you deserve — whatever that looks like. Remember that you are capable of achieving greatness, and don’t settle for anything less than the happiness and fulfillment you deserve. You’re not alone, and there are people out there (like me) who will gladly have your back. You can do this. You will smile and laugh again.
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