Three Steps to Reclaim Your Power After Cancer
Doctors Promised a “Milestone”—Instead, I was Drowning in Fear: Three Steps to Reclaim Your Power After Cancer
When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer, the doctors told me that reaching the five-year cancer-free milestone would be a huge relief. According to the experts, if I made it that long without a recurrence, my chances of staying healthy would be significantly improved. Good news, right? The doctors must know what they’re talking about.
Or do they?
Today, I am worried that maybe the doctors don’t have it right.
In just the past month, I have had two very close friends diagnosed with cancer AGAIN, even after their five-year anniversary. One diagnosis came just one week after her five-year anniversary, and another came just two months after.
In both cases, they were diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer (also called stage IV), which means the cancer has spread to another part of the body, most commonly the liver, brain, bones, or lungs. Metastatic breast cancer is also known as secondary breast cancer, which is when cells break away from the original tumor and travel through the blood or lymph system to form a new tumor.
This was terrible news, and it has terrified me all over again.
Ever since I heard the news from my friends, I have been wrapped up in the “what-if” game. What if that happens to me? What if cancer comes back? My hip has been hurting. What if it’s cancer? I have a headache; maybe cancer has spread to my brain. I can honestly say that I have gone “from zero to panic” more in the past few weeks than I have in a very long time.
I needed to find my footing. During my cancer journey, I learned a lot about the power of fear, and I am now refocusing my attention on the valuable lessons I learned.
Fear can be a debilitating emotion. If we don’t address these strong feelings and find ways to offset them, fear can turn into a phobia when the anticipation or anxiety is so great that it interferes with everyday life. As a cancer survivor and having spoken to many other women who are also survivors, I can confirm that this fear never really goes away. After a diagnosis and recovery, the fear sort of sits on the shelf but never really leaves the room.
The story of my five-year anniversary is an example of how fear can quickly reignite, setting off many of the scary, intense emotions I experienced the first time around. I learned it is important to stay in tune with your thoughts and acknowledge them, but also recognize when you need to reach out to others for support.
Journaling helps to bring a fresh perspective. Many times, we exaggerate how a situation MIGHT turn out. We create a story in our minds, and then we blow it up into something much bigger and scarier than it needs to be. Train your brain to accept that there is NO THREAT. You are safe, and it’s OK to switch off the fear response. You will soon realize that it’s the “fear of fear” that may be triggering you.
Do not deny the hard feelings. I learned to focus on my emotions and accept them non-judgmentally while trying not to hang on so tightly. It is essential to name the emotion, feel it, and then LET IT GO. By practicing mindfulness, we can train our awareness so that we become less distracted by our own thinking, which allows us to enjoy more of the good things that happen to us each day. Don’t deny your feelings. Embrace them and come to terms with the fact that sometimes we are all just a little out of control.
Michelle Obama says, “Your story is what you have. It’s what you will always have. It is something special to own.” You control your story. You don’t control all the things that happen in your life, but you certainly do control how you respond to those events.
As cancer survivors, although fear might always be in the room, we can make sure it sits high on a shelf and that we stand in our own strength. We control our story, and with practice, we can take a big, deep breath and set fear aside.
I have renewed my commitment to myself to be big and brave. I will respond with courage and grace. I will be optimistic and take inspired action. I will think like a warrior.
If fear is weighing you down, follow these three steps to regain your footing.
1. Embrace Vulnerability. By openly sharing my story, with all its highs and lows, I was able to release the emotional trauma that had been weighing me down. Journaling has allowed me to process my feelings honestly and vulnerably, allowing me to realign in a healthier, more positive direction.
2. Cultivate Self-Compassion. One of the most powerful things I learned was to offer myself the same kindness and encouragement I would give to a dear friend. By practicing self-compassion, I can silence my inner critic, replace negative self-talk with words of understanding, and make friends with my fear. I learned to recognize that negative feelings can exist while not allowing them to consume me.
3. Reconnect with Joy. As I worked through my healing process, I began to rediscover the simple joys in life that had once brought me such happiness. The little things now hold so much joy. By focusing on gratitude and celebrating small victories, I gradually rebuilt my sense of self-worth and appreciation for the beauty that still surrounded me.
I wish the same journey of rediscovery and transformation for all my fellow cancer warriors, or anyone experiencing fear that feels overwhelming.
Share your light with the world. Be courageous, be happy, and remember—you control your story. With the right tools and a commitment to your own emotional healing, you too can boost your self-confidence and emerge from this storm as a warrior, whole and transformed.
Geri Maroney courageously shares her cancer journey, offering hope and resilience to women facing similar challenges. With raw honesty and gentle humor, she provides inspiring insights and emotional tools to help patients navigate their transformative experience.
“Please help me, God. I am more afraid than I have ever been in my life.”
– Geri Maroney
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