Emotional Architecture: Resilience and Hope in the Face of Cancer—This doesn’t belong to me: The Impact of Hearing “I Have Cancer.” I never really felt this story belonged to me alone. I was in the path of an incredible force that was about to change everyone’s life. Instead of encouraging the mask of everything being okay, let me honor your being, struggle, resilience, and vigor for life.
I was healthy when I heard the news, and the day was like any other until those words fell from his mouth. “I have cancer,” he said. “Tomorrow I am going into surgery for a mastectomy and will start chemo right after. I’m doing an aggressive treatment.”
No matter how much I wanted to listen to his words as they fell, the rest was a blur. He said something about not wanting to burden me with worry, so he had kept silent. I felt robbed. His time, his life, his choice—I wanted to be angry, but nothing felt like it was my own. He has breast cancer, I can’t wrap my head around it. I don’t get to break down now; I don’t get the opportunity to be angry at him with everything he is carrying on his shoulders. My thoughts remained with him and the realization of what tomorrow would bring escaped my imagination.
The Emotional Toll: Coping with Anger and Fear
Hope is not the word I would use to describe cancer. Thief is a better description; it’s bold and willing to claim anything it desires as its own. It’s cliché to say that even cancer gives you a gift. It is a sentiment that is cruel to the person whose anger is leading their way through the darkness, carrying a torch to the other side of their internalized sorrow.
What I found there was acceptance for the things that would not have been allowed to change lives—the sometimes difficult but so easily accepted parts of life—those small self-betrayals that fell into a holding pattern where life was acceptable but not good.
Finding Hope Amidst the Struggle: A Journey of Acceptance
The macro image of the situation and the gift of hindsight showed me that every moment facing fear, alone or together, was laced with hope. These moments call out everything in you. They drive you to find peace within the divine, to seek solace while bargaining with an unpredictable passenger. The finite nature of this life becomes a beacon to transform. A wake-up call to love and a complete reorganization of priorities.
The Role of Emotional Integration in Healing
As an Alignment and Embodiment guide, I see the world of pain through a lens of emotional integration to create alignment with our actions and values in how we interact with our physical bodies and the world. I have been studying long-term chronic pain patterns for almost 20 years. I have worked with violent accidents, autoimmune issues, MS, the aftermath of tuberculosis, HIV, and, of course, cancer.
I began as a Neuromuscular retrainer working in rehabilitative medicine, which gave me the foundation to see just how much the body holds and the extreme acts of service it provides even when it’s breaking. Life is a messy and beautiful process. I often tell others that I am undeniably stubborn and can testify to the importance of learning from other people’s mistakes.
Celebrating Resilience & The Call To Elevate
I am supposed to tell you a story of hope, but I have to tell you first that it is a story that comes from a falling away, an enlightenment of life. The end to the idea that we need to be more than who we are and an inevitable acceptance of what is and just how perfect we are even in our flaws. Only the brave are truly transformed by being touched by this strange companion.
Every person in its path will directly or indirectly have the opportunity to shift their perspective.
- May you see and experience the love you never knew was there.
- May your voice open and flow effortlessly without obstruction.
- May you be seen fully as the person you truly are.
- May you be cared for in more ways than you could have imagined.
- May your life be vibrant with the light of passion.
- May you drink the fullness of the experience of life and find comfort.
- May hindsight bless you with understanding, and may your heart be held safe within the divine.
My friend left that night, packed and ready for surgery. Our lives were in a holding pattern that would be shaken apart—not by cancer itself but by a love of life and the value of connections. The starvation of time made every sunrise so magnificent and undeniably beautiful, even as it led us apart. He is healthy today, and I hope the adventure that was sparked by that time held the capacity of his hunger for life. More than anything, I pray he is happy today.
This, my friends, is a wake-up call. If you are ready to change course, I am ready to meet you.
To celebrate the resilience and hope of cancer survivors, I invite you to join me for a special Elevation Session. In this 5-10 minute video, I will share more about the journey described in this article.
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