How Detachment Creates More Ease in Daily Life
A Buddhist saying, “not flattered by praise, not hurt by blame,” is the practice of detachment.
When you get caught up in praise a bit too much, as in believing your own press, that is your ego puffing up. When you get caught up in judgment, as in feeling you are not good enough, that is your ego beating you down. Either direction will ill-serve you. Over time, I have found that developing one’s Happiness also includes three vital components:
Detachment from things, people, opinions, and outcomes.
The practice of non-judgment.
The absence of inner resistance.
The key here is to act from an egoless place of peace, love, gratitude, or forgiveness rather than from an ego-filled place of judgment, criticism, ungratefulness, and lack of forgiveness.
Let me just say one thing here—well, two. I work as a television producer and live in Los Angeles, an industry and city brimming with ego. Add to that, I am of Greek ethnicity, with a very strong-minded culture. So, putting any one of these components into practice is, to say the least, challenging, though with cultivated awareness, it is not insurmountable. Nevertheless, I have found that life flows more effortlessly when I let go of collecting grievances or clinging to righteousness.
Your head is less caught up in worry and anxiety. Sensations in your body are more relaxed. Thinking kind thoughts just feels better than being entangled in angry ones. However, detaching from attachment is a sticky business at best.
Mindful Ways to Detach
Decide Whose Business It Is.
We humans seem so drawn to drama, whether our own or someone else’s. We slowly creep past a car accident on the freeway, making ourselves a hazard in the process. We take sides in a friend’s argument with their partner, forgetting that once they kiss and make up, they will remember the bad things you said about their loved one.
So often we get involved in situations that have nothing to do with us and then find ourselves embroiled in the unfolding, escalating heat of a moment that we, you, cannot so quickly disengage from, and we find ourselves in the crosshairs of someone else’s problem. I love what I once heard Byron Katie offer at a Wisdom 2.0 mindfulness conference. “If it is their business, leave it to them. If it is genuinely your business, then get involved. If it is God’s business, let Him take care of it.”
Find the Oneness in Things.
Finally, science is catching up, and scientists are becoming more vocal about what the sages, mystics, and spiritual leaders have known for millennia: we are all one. No matter what you believe, we all come from the same source and return to that source—cosmic dust, the stuff stars are made of. We could not be here if stars had not exploded, giving rise to the evolutionary elements that formed you and me.
While hard to believe, every atom inside us came from a star. As astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson says, “We are part of this universe, we are in this universe, but perhaps more important than both of these facts is that the universe is in us.” From this perspective, we are all connected. We are all related to what is happening around us. In this realm, there is no place for one’s overinflated ego.
Embrace each new day as a gift. See every day for what it is: the gift of a new beginning, a fresh start. The same is true of each moment of your day. When you continually look to begin anew, you are free from the limiting thoughts of your ego and open to the limitless possibilities of the egoless.
“Treat every moment as a gift, that is why it is called the present.” — Deepak Chopra
Focus on What Matters.
Dwell on the things you can make happen, where you can affect positive change. Leave the things that are already done in the past. I am Greek Orthodox by baptism, and I go to church, though oddly enough, I would not think of myself as religious. Instead, I see myself as spiritually strong in my faith. Perhaps this is splitting hairs, though it is a subtle and meaningful distinction for me. At any rate, one Christian prayer that has come to resonate with me is theologian Reinhold Niebuhr’s “Serenity Prayer.”
“Lord, give me the courage to change the things I can, the strength to accept the things I cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
This prayer reminds me to leave my ego at the door. It holds in my mind that there are things well beyond my control and that the best I can do, any of us can do, is to control what we can. How you react to any situation is up to you and only you.
Each day offers countless chances to leave the ego at the door. When you do, life feels lighter, choices feel clearer, and peace has more room to be present.
This article includes an excerpt from my debut book, “Take a Shot at Happiness: How to Write, Direct & Produce the Life You Want,” which reached Amazon’s #1 Bestseller list in the Creativity Self-Help category and was an Eric Hoffer Literary Award Finalist. It was voted “Best Personal Development Book of the Year 2024,” and I received the “2025 Leader of the Year” award from this magazine. The book has won thirteen prestigious awards, including the Silver Nautilus Book Award and multiple category honors from the NYC Big Book Awards, National Indie Excellence Awards, Best Book Award, and the Independent Press Award. It was also featured in Times Square, New York.
Take my Free Quiz. Learn more about what makes you happy. Go to https://sojourntohappiness.com/happiness-essentials-quiz/k of the Year 2024” and received the “2025 Leader of the Year” award from this magazine. The book has won thirteen prestigious awards, including the Silver Nautilus Book Award and multiple category honors from the NYC Big Book Awards, National Indie Excellence Awards, Best Book Award, and the Independent Press Award. It was also featured in Times Square, New York.
“How you react to any situation is up to you and only you.”
-Maria Baltazzi, PhD, MFA
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