November Mindset Reset: NLP Strategies for Ex-Military and First Responders to Navigate the Holiday Season with Gratitude and Strength
Embracing the November Challenge: Understanding why the Holidays Feel Heavy. As November rolls in, the air shifts.
The days shorten, the leaves fall, and the holiday season starts to creep into our lives. For many, this time of year brings warmth, family, and gratitude. But for our ex-military and first responder community, it can also pose unique challenges. Memories of past service, the weight of transition into civilian life, the pressure of family gatherings, or the quiet of an empty home can all stir up old emotions.
The truth is, we all face struggles and moments we have to navigate. Life doesn’t pause and say, “Okay, you, let’s take a break; it’s the holiday season.” So let your mindset be your greatest weapon. Use these simple NLP techniques to transform your November into a season of presence, resilience, and renewed gratitude.
Step One: Fight the Good Fight in Your Mindset
In the military or on the front lines as a first responder, “fighting the good fight” was part of your daily life. NLP teaches that what you focus on expands. If your thoughts drift toward stress, loneliness, or old wounds, your emotional state will follow. Instead, I want you to be physical and move to reframe your thoughts. When you catch yourself thinking, “This holiday is going to be hard.” Stop, shift into a solid, grounded stance, and say out loud something positive like, “No, this year, I am going to be more helpful to others this season than last year.” Make your statement a goal, own it, and move into it. This subtle mindset shift trains your brain to look for solutions instead of problems.
Step Two: Be Better at Reaching Out and Connecting
Isolation is a common struggle for both ex-military and first responders. Your training molded you to be strong, to push through, to handle things on your own. But November is the perfect time to break that cycle.
NLP emphasizes the power of changing your “state” through action. Picking up the phone to call a friend, sending a text to a family member, or attending a local gathering for veterans or first responders can completely shift your mental state. The act of connection signals safety to your nervous system and creates opportunities for positive experiences.
And remember, being better at reaching out doesn’t just help you—it helps the person on the other end of the line. Human connection is a two-way street.
Step Three: Cheer Yourself Up by Cheering Someone Else Up
One of the most powerful NLP principles is that changing your focus changes your feeling. When you’re feeling down, anxious, or stuck, shifting your energy toward someone else’s needs can instantly lift your mood. This simple act of helping others can give you a sense of purpose and control over your emotions.
If the holiday season stirs up challenging emotions, ask yourself, “Who can I help today?” It could be as simple as:
- Checking on a neighbor.
- Writing a note to a former teammate or co-worker.
- Offering to help with holiday prep for a family member or friend.
As the old saying goes: The best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer someone else up. Humanity lifts others, and when we do, we all rise together.
Step Four: Anchor Yourself in Gratitude and Better Moments
Anchoring in NLP involves recalling positive moments with all your senses engaged. Close your eyes and remember a time you felt proud, peaceful, or happy. Picture it in detail—what you saw, heard, and felt in that moment. When you pair this with a gratitude practice, you train your mind to naturally focus on what’s going right instead of what feels heavy.
This November, write down three things each night that you’re thankful for. Simple things like a smile from a stranger, a good cup of coffee, or a text from a friend. To big ones like the unwavering loyalty of your family or the brotherhood and sisterhood of your service years.
The more you focus on these better moments, the stronger your mental resilience becomes. Gratitude is like a muscle; the more you exercise it, the stronger it grows.
Step Five: Stay Present and Fully Live Each Moment
Stop thinking about December or looking back on past holidays. But the gift of this season is found in presence. Mindfulness—another tool aligned with NLP principles—can be as simple as pausing to notice your surroundings. Take the first bite of food with full awareness. When you talk with a friend, truly listen instead of planning your next reply. Step outside, breathe in the crisp autumn air, and notice the sounds and colors around you. Each present moment you fully experience builds a life that feels fuller, calmer, and more connected.
Step Six: Share Your Thankfulness to Lift Others Up
A powerful way to close this season on a high note is to tell others why you are thankful for them. It doesn’t have to be grand. A simple message, a heartfelt phone call, or a face-to-face can make an unforgettable impact. You never know who needs to hear that they’ve made a difference in your life. And when you speak your gratitude out loud, you’re reinforcing it for yourself.
Your Call to Action: Rise Together This Holiday Season
This November, you will commit to these simple yet powerful steps: fight the good fight in your mindset, reach out and lift, encourage someone else, focus on your better moments, and express your thankfulness. Take the time to tell others why you are grateful for them. In doing so, you will not only brighten someone else’s holiday season, but you will transform your own.
By the time you read this, it will be a year since Pop rode on ahead. Last Thanksgiving was a blur; my sister and I were so focused on making it easy on Momma that it was strangely easy on us when we look back at it. We were so focused on telling the hilarious and fun stories and memories of Pop, to keep her focused on the astounding 64 years they had together, that our memories of last year are of our sides hurting from laughter. Thanks, Pop, for everything.
I want you to know what I know got me through it. What you do this year is up to you. I hope next year you look back and remember this article, and the holidays you had, and how much your sides hurt from laughing.
“When your mindset is focused on the presence, your holiday season can be filled with joy, connection, and magic.” – Scott Gates
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