Protect Your Peace: 8 Promises You Must Live By – Looking down, he was silent for what seemed an eternity. “Hmmm.” He flipped over several cards on the table that separated us, nodding as if acknowledging someone talking to him. Maybe they were. He was a medium, after all. He stopped flipping and brought his gaze to meet mine. “Lemme give you some advice. What others think of you is none of your business.” His words took their own journey in my head.
“What??”
“What does that mean?”
“Hmmm. Maybe.”
“Ohhhhh, I get it.”
“Huh, that is exactly, and unfortunately, what I do—make it my business to want to know and react to people’s opinions of me—and it is emotionally and mentally costing me.”
Like many of us, I cared too much about what others thought of me. This article is about the business of your life: minding it, making a few promises to yourself, and never minding what others think you are or should do.
Promise to do what you truly want instead of yielding to the expectations of family, friends, colleagues, teachers, or bosses. Respect and believe in yourself. Live your dream. Like owning your “I am,” strive to own the life that goes with it. Do this, and you will find greater peace within. Never mind the opinions and judgments of others. We often know this yet forget to abide by it.
What happens when you become caught up in other people’s thoughts of you? It disrupts your peace of mind. You know yourself better than anyone, so use this knowledge to create the life you desire.
Minding my own business and not taking on what others thought of me was a difficult lesson to learn, spanning many years of my professional life in entertainment. I worried and tried to please others, especially when I was in production on a project. I always had a strong vision of the creative, yet moments of differences with my cameraman, editor, or network executive disrupted my peace. These moments consumed creative energy that I could have used elsewhere. I realized that others’ opinions are just that—opinions. They do not define me.
Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements presents four promises: be impeccable with your word, don’t take things personally, don’t assume, and act with integrity. These principles serve as guidance for navigating relationships and situations in your life.
Promise to be impeccable with your word. Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Your word is the gold standard by which others will trust you.
Promise not to take things personally. Most people’s actions often have little to do with you. When things go wrong—whether it is a breakup, a confrontation, or being blamed—it often says more about the other person than about you. Focus on what you can learn from the situation, rather than on the hurt they caused.
Promise not to make assumptions. Ask if you do not understand something. Express your needs rather than expecting others to read your mind. Be clear in your communication. Most people want to help when they know how.
Promise to act with integrity. Integrity means acting trustworthy and honorable, regardless of whether anyone is watching. True character is revealed in your actions when no one else is looking.
I would also add four promises to these:
- Avoid gossip.
- Resist being petty.
- Keep your own counsel.
- Withhold judgment.
You are playing small when you gossip, act petty, or judge others. This is wasteful and drains your energy, which could be better spent on expansive thinking. Instead of focusing on what others are doing, focus on your dreams and the life you want to create. Abiding by these eight promises will uplift your peace and help you mind your own business, free from the opinions of others.
The medium’s advice was insightful.
Part of this article is an excerpt from my debut book, “Take a Shot at Happiness: How to Write, Direct & Produce the Life You Want,” which reached Amazon’s #1 Bestseller list in the Creativity Self-Help category. It was voted “Best Personal Development Book of the Year 2024” and received the “2025 Leader of the Year” award from this magazine. The book has won twelve prestigious awards, including the Silver Nautilus Book Award and numerous category-winning honors from the NYC Big Book Awards, National Indie Excellence Awards, Best Book Award, and the Independent Press Award. It was also featured in New York’s Times Square.
You can find more intentional practices in my book or by downloading my Take a Shot at Happiness app.
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