Showing Your Love – Many of us show our love through the dozens or even hundreds of little moments that happen throughout the day. Maybe it’s when we pick up our sister’s favorite flavor of ice cream while grocery shopping and drop it off to surprise her or when we show up without fail to our kids’ baseball games. We assume that people know how we feel based on our actions, but verbalizing or writing down our feelings tends to be less common.
When I decided to become a mountain climber, the level of danger in my life increased exponentially. Every time I zipped up my parka and strapped on my goggles, there was a chance it would be for the last time. If the worst-case scenario became a reality, it was important to me that I give my seven kids some kind of explanation and to reinforce exactly how I felt about them. In the event that I didn’t make it back down the mountain, I wrote the following letter that they could revisit in the years and decades to come.
Dear Kids,
This is the hardest letter I have ever written, and I am certain it will be the hardest letter that you have ever read. For if you are reading my words, then I am gone. Something unpredictable and horribly unimaginable has happened to me. At this moment, I wish my arms could reach out from this page and wrap around you, to comfort you like no other. I would hold you and whisper in your ear that I love you, that everything will be okay.
The best moments of my life were the day each of you were born, the day I became your mother. From the moment we locked eyes, it was love at first sight. Our special bond was instantaneous, undeniable, and everlasting. Of all the things I have done in my life, nothing compares to being your mom. Nothing. You live in my core. You taught me how to be more kind, more loving, more patient, more selfless. Right now, I am sure these words feel empty.
Right now, you are full of sadness and perhaps anger, with questions that demand answers.
How could I leave you? How could I choose this expedition over spending the rest of my life loving you and watching you grow into adults. I promised I would be safe. I promised I would be back. You deserve answers. Part of living, really living, is to continuously grow and learn and challenge your limits.
I believe to my core, that the best way to live a good life, a full life, a happy life is to seek challenge and to take risks, to try new things, and push into the unknown. If I hadn’t chosen this expedition, then I might have been trail running on a mountain in Patagonia, or climbing an unnamed peak in Nepal, or sailing in the Caribbean. You may have been there too. You see, don’t be afraid of what will happen if you challenge yourself.
You must do things you think you cannot do. For you must live and use your gifts to the fullest to share your light with the world. You never know what day will be your last, so don’t wait for the perfect moment to step out and into your full self.
I know these words sound empty and meaningless because nothing will bring me back to you. I hope over time, this all makes sense. I didn’t die a senseless death. I died while truly living. And my wish for you in life is that you each find your own path to being fully alive. Please promise me to live each day.
I know your character. I see your heart. You are destined to do great things in this world. I know you will be true to yourself. I will be watching you and with you every step of the way.
All my love, Mom
Fortunately, I didn’t have to give the letter to my kids before I completed the Seven Second Summits, but I hope it serves as an example of what it can look like to translate our emotions to paper. You might never do something as risky as climbing the world’s tallest mountains, but as 2023 comes to a close, I encourage you to be intentional about verbalizing your love and gratitude to the people who mean the most to you.
Maybe that’s your kids. Perhaps it’s a friend or mentor. You don’t necessarily have to write the next great American novel; just take 10 or 20 minutes to put your thoughts down and send it to the person. You might be surprised just how much it ends up meaning to them.
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