Johanna pats Michael’s shoulder affectionately, acknowledging his great job pitching a limited series to the network (touch).
Johanna pats Michael’s shoulder affectionately, acknowledging his great job pitching a limited series to the network (touch).
Johanna looks intently into Susan’s eyes, nodding as she describes a scene she wrote for her (attention).
Johanna gives Sandra a 14k gold Emmy charm pendant as a thank you for her performance in their last series (gift).
Johanna offers to work weekends in Bill’s homeless soup kitchen because he secured the production financing on her last project (service).
Johanna tells Emily, “I appreciate you more than you will ever know,” for the long hours worked editing her television pilot (kind words).
Five people. Five different gestures. One intention behind all of them: I see you, and I am grateful for you.
Bestselling author of “The 5 Love Languages,” Gary Chapman, says that people respond to expressions of love differently. Some like a reassuring touch of a hand. Some like your undivided attention. Some prefer a gift, others an act of service. Another only wants to hear a kind word.
I think these five Love Languages apply to expressions of Gratitude as well. As the giver, you set aside your ego to show thankfulness in a way you know will make the receiver feel cared for. This makes you feel even closer to the person who is the focus of your appreciation. So, you both feel good.
The Language of Gratitude begins with the words you choose. Dwell on inability, adversity, and lack, and that is where your attention stays. Focus on gifts, blessings, and abundance, and you begin to feel it. Within yourself first. Then in the room.
Your words carry weight. Your tone will either draw people toward you or push them away. When you channel appreciation, you are in the energy of Gratitude. Grateful thoughts become Grateful words that become Grateful deeds, making the world a better place.
People are less likely to feel underappreciated when the Language of Gratitude is used. In the workplace, people are more likely to experience greater satisfaction with what they do. Consistent, meaningful expressions of Gratitude shown by any leader help increase productivity, enhance creativity, encourage cooperation, and decrease turnover, ultimately translating into greater company teamwork, customer loyalty, and higher net sales. Do the same at home, and you will find a similar result in healthy, loving, fulfilling relationships.
An often-cited reason someone leaves a relationship or job is that they feel a lack of appreciation. I was once working on a television show where the executive producer constantly reminded the producers and camera teams how much he did for them and how he made their careers. Rarely was there a “thank you” or “good job” for bringing back a great story. It caused most of the production team to feel resentful, unhappy, and less willing to go the extra mile.
I remember one night in the African bush, following a pride of lions for hours in the dark. We counted eight. There were nine. That ninth lion was out there, unaccounted for. You did not leave the vehicle for anything. Those were the conditions we worked in, night after night, across locations around the world. What we wanted to hear was not complicated. “Good job. Thank you for what you brought back.” We would have been happy.
Several left the show because of this. Those who stayed spent a lot of time complaining about the boss. This executive producer never realized we would have all walked on water for him. We loved the adventures we had traveling the world and doing stories.
You will go miles if you just say a heartfelt, “Thank you, I appreciate you.”
Gratitude is something most of us already practice. What takes more thought is how it gets applied. Saying thank you matters. How you say thank you matters even more.
This Month’s Practice: Speak Their Language
Choose one person you want to thank this week. Before you reach out, pause. Consider how they receive appreciation. Is it a touch on the arm? Your undivided attention? A small, thoughtful gift? An act of service? A few words said directly and with care? Match your expression of Gratitude to what would feel meaningful to them, not to what feels good to you.
Photo Op. Using the Language of Gratitude, create a photo series that shows the five languages of Gratitude: touch, attention, gift, service, and a kind word. Observe how you feel during this Photo Op.
Action Opportunity. Spend time focusing on this centering thought: “Thank you. I appreciate you.” Then sit with the images you captured. Choose one photograph. In your journal, write about it, or you can use my Take a Shot at Happiness app, found in the App Store or downloaded from mariabaltazzi.com.
Ask. Who are you expressing Gratitude to? Which language of Gratitude did you choose for them, and why? What did you notice in the exchange?
“Grateful thoughts become Grateful words that become Grateful deeds, making the world a better place.”
-Maria Baltazzi, PhD, MFA
You can find more intentional practices in my book or by downloading my Take a Shot at Happiness app.
- Connect with our Executive Writer, Maria Baltazzi.
- Read more features from Maria.
- Get Your Copy of “Take A Shot At Happiness,” Best Holistic Life Magazine’s Personal Development Book of The Year!
- Access the Take A Shot At Happiness APP! It is amazing!
