What Does True Perfection Look Like? – Perfectionism is like a mirror that distorts reality, constantly demanding something more, something better. It aims to achieve the highest quality, but in practice, it often results in the lowest standard. Instead of offering your work as it is now, you hold back, waiting for the elusive moment when it feels “good enough.” But that day never comes. Meanwhile, others, free from such doubts, share their best effort. Even if their work isn’t perfect, it still surpasses offering nothing at all. After all, 70% is greater than 0%. This is why perfectionism leads to the lowest standard—it keeps you from delivering, leaving potential locked away and the world without anything to gain.
Even if you force yourself to give because you feel you “must,” dissatisfaction still creeps in—along with the fear of rejection, self-criticism, belittling your achievement, and wasting time searching for proof of how “terrible” it is. In essence, even when you offer something to the world, you don’t allow others to truly enjoy it. And if they do appreciate it, your inner critic whispers that they’re only being polite or have some ulterior motive.
PERFECTION AS A DEFENSE MECHANISM
Perfectionism often grows out of low self-esteem. Convinced they’re not good enough, a person’s primitive brain, responsible for protective mechanisms, crafts a “brilliant” solution: “If what I show or give to the world is ‘flawless,’ no one will see who I really am. I’ll hide behind this perfection, and no one will ever hurt me again—no one will criticize, ridicule, humiliate, reject me, or say I’m worthless.” To this protective part of the brain, it feels like salvation. But in reality, it’s a tragedy because:
ULTIMATELY, WHAT MANIFESTS IN OUR LIVES REFLECTS THE ENERGY WE FOCUS ON WITHIN OURSELVES
Here, energy is spent concealing the pain of rejection. Ironically, rejection manifests anyway—whether through others’ criticism or self-inflicted judgment.
So what should we do? Stop caring about quality and accept mediocrity? Of course not. If neither perfection nor mediocrity works, then what does? I propose redefining perfection by distinguishing two types: the perfection rooted in control, as described above, and another type— perfection grounded in harmony.
PERFECTION AS CONTROL ROOTED IN LACK
This type of perfection can be described as indifferent, rigid, unforgiving, unchanging, absolute, immovable, austere, or isolated. It is the perfection of structures like a crystal. The atoms in a crystal are arranged so symmetrically that their beauty captivates us. The more symmetrical the structure, the more breathtaking it becomes. However, this is where a confusion of realms occurs. Our deeper Self is entirely different from crystalline perfection. It resembles a living fire—always moving, transforming, and never standing still.
As children, we are like living fire, longing for acceptance and recognition. This acceptance fuels our inner fire, allowing it to grow and transform freely. However, when it’s withheld and we’re expected to become someone “better,” we lose touch with our vibrant Self. The dynamic fire begins hardening into a rigid form, crafted to appear “beautiful” and desirable.
A frozen in perfection crystal may seem beautiful, but for fire, it brings death. Fire cannot be confined to an unchanging form. Yet the illusion persists: “If I become what they expect, I’ll finally be wanted.” This is the beginning of internal decay. Striving for this type of perfection demands obsessive control, leading to fear, anxiety, or resignation. It’s a futile pursuit that never delivers true fulfillment or lasting satisfaction.
THE PERFECTION OF AN IDEAL CRYSTAL IS BEAUTIFUL, BUT WHEN APPLIED TO THE FIRE OF LIFE—TO THE SOUL—IT LEADS TO ITS WITHERING.
PERFECTION AS HARMONY ROOTED IN WHOLENESS
Let us explore a form of perfection that gives life rather than taking it away. Consider fire: always moving, alive with energy, constantly changing and transforming. Our deepest Self—our soul—resembles this fire. It reveals itself in the joy of living, the enthusiasm for experiencing, the desire to explore, curiosity, and the expansion of happiness through connections with the world. It embraces difference and transformation, letting go of the familiar for the new. These qualities, and many others, reflect a perfection rooted in openness and vitality.
In such an element, perfection is something entirely different. We don’t find it in a fixed form that we must strive to achieve; instead, we find it ‘here and now’ in our relationship with life. Imagine the harmonious dance of two people: one steps back, the other forward. They mirror each other, observing and responding fluidly to maintain the flow between them. This perfection is dynamic and alive, shaped by the moment and everything within it. What is perfect in one instant may no longer matter in the next. This living perfection never ends because it is not fixated on any final form. It exists in the timeless moment, where everything is exactly as it is meant to be.
When we dance harmoniously with life, attentively listening to its movements, we experience a state of perfection. We don’t try to lock life’s waves in a cage but let them carry us. This harmony naturally guides us to the most optimal places, marked by synchronicities delivering exactly what we need—often things we never thought to ask for.
This is a perfection that is alive and mindful, perceiving reality and responding like a dancer rather than a trainer imposing control. It offers a softness, allowing us to pursue our goals with minimal resistance, effort, and time. This is the living perfection nature has gifted us—a perfection aligned with ease and flow.
I invite you to explore these ideas further in my book, You Are the Dream of the Universe. Dive deeper into these concepts and gain a new understanding of who your true self is.
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