When Silence Breaks: Why Katarzyna Dodd Wrote The Chameleon’s Game
Best Holistic Life Magazine: What was the defining moment when you knew you had to turn your personal story into a book?
Katarzyna Dodd: When my relationship with my ex-partner finally collapsed, I dove deep into the professional literature on covert narcissism. Although I’m a psychologist, I had never specialized in this area—and I wanted to understand it on a deeper level. With every article and book I read, my eyes opened wider. At some point, I had no more doubts.
I initially thought I’d write a few articles—just to bring more awareness to this complex and damaging dynamic. Meanwhile, I continued my work as a therapist. Then, only a couple of weeks after the breakup, something unexpected happened: suddenly, a wave of women started showing up in my practice, all of them either in relationships with covert narcissists or still emotionally entangled after leaving one. I thought, this can’t be a coincidence. It felt as if the Universe had sent a signal—now that I had lived it, I could help others navigate it.
Because I was still so close to the experience and learning more every day, I could support these women in a profoundly grounded and empathetic way. When I explained the patterns of covert narcissism—often using examples from my own life—I kept hearing the same words: “You should write a book about this.”
What began as a few articles became a mission. I realized that by writing a book, I could reach many more women caught in this invisible web—and offer them the clarity and support I wish I’d had.
Best Holistic Life Magazine: In the book, you write about an inner state you call “The Regenerating Sun”—a deep sense of peace and clarity that rises from within, even in the middle of chaos. How did this state affect you in the relationship with the covert narcissist—and how can others begin to reconnect with something like that in themselves?
Katarzyna Dodd: I call it “The Regenerating Sun,” because that’s how I feel and see it inside me—like a quiet, stable inner state that rises on its own and brings everything back to clarity. Not because life is easy or emotions aren’t intense, but because my awareness is anchored in the deep center of my system. From there, everything reorganizes naturally.
This state doesn’t suppress anything. It meets everything. When pain shows up, it’s felt fully. When confusion comes, it’s honored. But just beneath all of it, there’s a knowing that rises like light through the body—a warmth that says, “Everything is exactly as it’s meant to be, even if I don’t understand it yet.”
Most people have experienced something like this—perhaps in nature, during meditation, or in moments of surrender. But for me, it’s not an occasional peak state. It’s a baseline. Something that’s always there—especially when things fall apart.
I didn’t develop this through effort. It’s something I’ve had since I was born. But over the years, I began observing it more consciously. I realized that peace isn’t something we chase—it’s what we return to when we stop abandoning ourselves.
This inner state is what allowed me to remain anchored in myself throughout the relationship. It helped me observe what was happening without becoming it. Even when I felt hurt, confused, or shaken, something in me stayed rooted. I wasn’t trying to convince him, fix him, or win him over—I was watching. I was learning. And I was staying close to myself.
This state of awareness isn’t exclusive. It lives in everyone. What blocks it is not unworthiness, but disconnection. When you reconnect with your Self, even for a moment, the system begins to shift. Your physiology changes. Your perception clears. You stop trying to fix the world—and start listening to what your inner world is telling you.
For years now, I’ve been researching how to help people return to that inner state. I believe the key lies in bringing awareness back to its natural home—in the deep center of the system. That’s the foundation of a method I’ve co-developed called the Inherence Process®. It’s still evolving, but the intention is clear: to help others rediscover what was never truly lost.
Best Holistic Life Magazine: Many survivors stay silent. What gave you the courage to share this journey so publicly—and so honestly?
Katarzyna Dodd: Many people who leave a relationship with a narcissist face intense emotional struggles. One of the narcissist’s core tactics is to destroy the other person’s already fragile sense of worth. You often end up feeling powerless, voiceless, and ashamed—even guilty, thinking, “Maybe I could have done more to save this.” It can take years to rebuild self-esteem.
Many stay silent out of shame, believing they’ve failed. When your sense of worth has been trampled, even speaking the truth can feel like more proof that something’s wrong with you.
In my case, things unfolded a bit differently. As someone deeply devoted to observing human nature and inner transformation, I was processing everything in real time—right in the middle of the relationship. I didn’t wait for things to collapse or make sense in hindsight. Whenever a difficult emotion came up, I used it as a compass, immediately tuning in, reflecting, and working with it. I used EFT and other tools not as an afterthought, but as a living, daily practice. This moment-to-moment self-awareness helped me see through manipulation as it was happening. It strengthened my boundaries, deepened my understanding, and ultimately led me—not to exhaustion—but to awakening.
With that awakening came a liberating sense of authenticity. The need to silence parts of myself to maintain someone else’s ease had finally dissolved. And I feel more and more people are longing for that. Longing for a kind, grounded relationship with their own inner Self.
We all share the same human story—highs and lows, joy and sorrow, success and failure, mercy and hatred. Hiding behind Instagram-worthy perfection only makes us more isolated and lonely.
Since my first book was well-received, I knew that through this new one—and through telling my story—I could invite others to embrace their whole Selves. When you live in truth, there’s nothing to hide. Everything belongs. And really—what else is there?
Best Holistic Life Magazine: Do you believe this book is part of your personal healing or more of a mission to light the way for others still stuck in the ‘chameleon matrix’?
Katarzyna Dodd: I feel like it was both. Writing this book was part of my healing—putting my thoughts into words brought powerful clarity and insight. As I wrote, everything inside me began to organize itself. A deeper and broader understanding of narcissistic relationships started to emerge—one that I explored more fully in the second part of the book. That includes not only psychological patterns but also generational trauma, a spiritual perspective, and even metaphysical dimensions.
Understanding narcissistic personality disorder—its symptoms, the devastation it causes in relationships, and how to free yourself—is one thing. But when you finally free yourself from the web of manipulation, you begin to see the bigger picture. That shift brings a deeper peace and insight that reaches far beyond your personal story.
Because I managed to walk that path and uncover its deeper layers, I felt a responsibility to share what I learned with other women—women who, for all kinds of reasons, feel trapped in relationships like this and don’t know how to get out. I hope this book opens their eyes wide and helps them make choices that are truly aligned with their well-being.
The most important truth I want to leave them with is this: It’s not your fault that he’s unhappy and angry—and it’s not your responsibility to fix it.
Best Holistic Life Magazine: How is it that you can tell your story of a narcissistic relationship with so much tenderness?
Katarzyna Dodd: I no longer need to fight with the past in order to feel free. I believe that healing doesn’t mean forgetting or pretending it didn’t hurt. It means integrating the experience in such a way that your heart remains open. Not naive—but open. Telling the story with tenderness doesn’t mean I condone what happened. It simply means I no longer carry it with bitterness.
What helped me the most was understanding the deeper psychological structure behind covert narcissism—and seeing it for what it is: a survival strategy rooted in deep inner abandonment. That doesn’t justify the harm, but it explains the pattern. And when you see the pattern, it stops being personal. You also stop seeing yourself as someone who made a wrong choice in life—and begin to recognize the patterns of trauma, both in yourself and in the other.
There was a time when I felt angry, hopeless, and confused. I went through every emotion. But through the lens of inner work—especially my connection to the Inner Child and Inner Parent—the pain transformed into wisdom. I understood what in me resonated with this dynamic and what part of me needed to evolve. It’s never just about “them.” It’s also about the parts of ourselves that need to wake up.
I think tenderness comes when you reclaim your power without hardening your heart, when you see that your worth was never truly in question. When you realize that even the most painful experience can become a doorway to truth, depth, and authenticity, that’s when you know you’re truly free. Not because you won—but because you remembered who you are.
Best Holistic Life Magazine: You call this relationship “a school of the Self.” What were the most important lessons this emotional education taught you?
Katarzyna Dodd: At first, I thought I was learning about him and about narcissism. About how someone can manipulate, gaslight, or betray you. But over time, I realized the deeper lesson was never about him. It was about me. It was a school of the Self because every moment of suffering revealed something I hadn’t yet fully seen, honored, or protected within myself.
I learned that no matter how deeply we understand someone else’s trauma, it doesn’t justify our own abandonment. That compassion can’t come at the cost of our dignity. And that love—real love—never requires us to shrink, betray ourselves, or walk on eggshells.
I saw how much of my energy was spent trying to create emotional safety, stability, and mutual respect—while he was, often unconsciously, committed to chaos, control, and emotional confusion. I hoped for a long time that the relationship could become as real as I was ready for it to be.
This experience taught me to anchor myself in my truth—not in someone else’s narrative. It taught me that boundaries aren’t a luxury—they’re a lifeline. And perhaps most importantly, it taught me that healing doesn’t always look like letting go of pain. Sometimes, it’s about letting go of the illusion that we ever needed to work for love in the first place.
And one more thing I’ve learned—not just about relationships, but about people in general: that at the heart of everything lies human will. No matter what you offer, how much you give, or how clearly you show something—even if someone experiences truth firsthand—it is still their will, and only their will, that decides whether they’ll take it in. Human will is sacred. And even if I don’t agree with someone’s choice—or can clearly see how things could be better—it’s not my place to decide what they accept or reject.
That’s why I call it a school. Not because it was fair or deserved, but because it cracked me open—and what emerged was stronger, clearer, and more alive than I had ever been before.
Best Holistic Life Magazine: In the book, you redefine “love at first sight” as a trauma bond. How can readers begin to distinguish between the two in their own lives?
Katarzyna Dodd: In the book, I explain that what many call “love at first sight” can sometimes be the nervous system recognizing familiar patterns—not healthy ones, but the ones it was wired to respond to in childhood. This is not intuition. It’s a survival memory.
A trauma bond often begins with intensity, not depth. It feels magical, synchronistic, like you’ve known them forever. They “get you” instantly. But what’s really happening is that the person is mirroring your emotional blueprint. This blueprint is shaped in childhood through the emotional tone of your early relationships. It holds what is familiar, not necessarily what is healthy. And often, what’s familiar is unmet needs, conditional love, emotional abandonment, or volatility. It’s the angry father whose love you had to earn. The critical mother whose approval was always just out of reach.
These patterns become the “emotional home” your nervous system recognizes. The deep brain doesn’t seek what is good for you. It seeks what is known. So when someone mirrors these old emotional frequencies—especially with intensity—your system lights up. It feels like “home.” It feels magical, euphoric. But it’s not a soul connection. It’s a trauma reenactment.
This is why a trauma bond can feel stronger than healthy love. Because your nervous system mistakes intensity for intimacy. And what’s familiar becomes the magnet.
Real love feels calm and strengthening. It gives you room to breathe, to grow, and to be fully yourself. It doesn’t rush or overwhelm you. Instead, it grounds you. You feel safe in your body, your nervous system settles, and your mind becomes clearer. Real love accepts you without condition or manipulation.
A trauma bond, on the other hand, often starts with euphoria. It feels magical, intoxicating, like fate. But underneath that high is a nervous system in overdrive. There’s intensity, not intimacy. Instead of calm, you feel anxiety. Instead of clarity, there’s confusion. One moment you’re on a pedestal, the next you’re crushed beneath it. And that rollercoaster creates a chemical addiction that keeps you hooked, chasing the first “hit” again.
The key difference? Real love builds and deepens with time. A trauma bond, by contrast, starts suddenly and intensely—but quickly unravels into chaos that makes you question your reality. If love feels like a high followed by anxiety, fear of abandonment, or walking on eggshells—it’s not love. It’s a trauma loop playing out in your emotional system.
Best Holistic Life Magazine: Your lens on narcissism is both psychological and spiritual. Why was it important to explore both the science and the soul of the issue?
Katarzyna Dodd: For me, it was never enough to understand narcissism only on the level of psychological patterns. That’s essential—but I needed to go deeper. I needed to understand the why beneath the why. Psychology gave me a powerful framework to name the tactics, the cycles, and the emotional devastation. But my soul still had questions.
Why did I resonate with this dynamic in the first place? Why did I stay? What was the deeper lesson? Those answers don’t live in diagnostic manuals. They live in the unseen layers of the psyche—in the soul.
To truly heal from a covert narcissistic relationship, we need more than awareness. We need meaning. We need to reclaim the parts of ourselves that were suppressed long before the narcissist arrived. These relationships are not random. They mirror something internal: a fractured bond between our Inner Parent and Inner Child. That’s where the real transformation happens.
For me, the spiritual lens wasn’t an escape—it was an anchor. It helped me shift from confusion to clarity, from fragmentation to wholeness. It gave me the courage to stop asking, “Why did this happen to me?” and start asking, “What is this here to reveal within me?”
Spirituality allowed me to step out of the loop of existential outrage and step into a space of witnessing. From that space, I could see not only what happened—but also who I became because of it. And that version of me was not weaker. She was wiser, more grounded, and more whole.
In the end, true healing must include both: the science that helps us name the patterns and the soul that helps us transcend them. Because narcissistic abuse isn’t just a psychological injury—it’s a crisis of the Self. And only by bringing both light and language to it can we truly set ourselves free.
Best Holistic Life Magazine: You emphasize the difference between narcissistic behaviors and full-blown narcissistic personality disorder. Why is that distinction so critical—and often missed?
Katarzyna Dodd: This distinction is absolutely essential—and often overlooked. Many people display selfish behaviors at times: defensiveness, lack of empathy, and a need to feel important. These can come from trauma, burnout, or survival patterns. But narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is something else entirely. It’s not just a collection of traits—it’s a fixed relational pattern built around manipulation, control, and the inability to form authentic emotional connections.
Why is this distinction so critical? Because when we confuse temporary selfish tendencies with the full-blown disorder, we risk either overreacting or underreacting. We might cut people off who simply need healing—or, worse, stay in relationships that are actively harming us because “they had a rough childhood” or “they’re just insecure.”
To make matters more complicated, the word “narcissist” has become so overused that it’s beginning to lose its meaning. These days, people are labeled narcissists for being confident, self-focused, or even for practicing healthy self-care. That’s not narcissism—that’s humanity. And calling someone a narcissist because they’ve learned to honor their own needs and treat themselves with kindness doesn’t just hurt them; it dilutes the seriousness of actual narcissistic personality disorder.
As a result, the real narcissists—the ones with deeply entrenched, destructive patterns—can fly under the radar. They don’t always look arrogant or loud. Often, they look kind, wounded, and misunderstood. But their relational patterns leave devastation in their wake. That’s why it’s so important to understand the difference—because recognizing it can be the first step toward reclaiming your peace, your power, and your reality.
Best Holistic Life Magazine: You introduce the concepts of the Inner Parent and Inner Child in a groundbreaking way. How do those inner roles shape the dynamic with a covert narcissist?
Katarzyna Dodd: Absolutely everything in our relationship with a covert narcissist reflects the relationship we have between our own Inner Parent and Inner Child. The Inner Child is your deep Self—who you truly are, what you came into this world with, and your joy of life.
In my book, I present a key idea: the Inner Child is not wounded. It’s always whole, radiant, and full of vital energy. What gets wounded—or underdeveloped—is the Inner Parent. That’s the part of us responsible for protecting the Child, making decisions, setting boundaries, and creating a stable connection with the world.
When our Inner Parent is weak, critical, absent, or overly focused on others, it mirrors the behavior of the dysfunctional parent(s) we may have grown up with. The result? We subconsciously repeat the same relational patterns—not just with others, but toward ourselves. The covert narcissist then enters the scene and perfectly “clicks” into that pattern. Why? Because they instinctively exploit the exact gaps and blind spots left by our own Inner Parent.
This inner dynamic is what keeps people stuck. The narcissist reflects what your Inner Parent believes about your Inner Child, that is, you: that you’re not important, don’t deserve to be seen, and must work hard to earn love. And so, we give and give—hoping to finally be loved—while abandoning ourselves in the process.
That’s why real healing doesn’t come from “healing the Inner Child.” The Child is intact. Healing comes from building a conscious, strong, and loving Inner Parent—one who sees You clearly, protects your joy, and stops the cycle of self-abandonment. When the Inner Parent steps in with clarity and compassion, the narcissist loses their power. And we finally come home to ourselves.
This entire concept of the Inner Child and Inner Parent—and the transformational relationship between them—is explored in depth in my first book, You Are the Dream of the Universe.
Best Holistic Life Magazine: What do you hope every reader walks away with after reading The Chameleon’s Game—even if they’ve never been in a narcissistic relationship?
Katarzyna Dodd: Even if someone has never been in a narcissistic relationship, I hope The Chameleon’s Game awakens something deeper in them: the desire to come home to themselves.
Because this book is not just about narcissism, it’s about the quiet ways we abandon ourselves to be loved. The compromises we make with our truth just to avoid conflict. The roles we play to belong. Whether that happens in a relationship, a family system, or a culture, it’s a story so many of us live.
At its core, this is a call back to authenticity—the raw, unfiltered relationship with our own inner Self. The part of us that knows what’s true, even when the world around us insists otherwise. I want readers to feel that they are allowed to drop the performance, the self-editing, and the shrinking. That they can live from their center, not from fear. I want them to reclaim their right to live an authentic life—one that reflects who they truly are, not who they’ve been told to be.
I want readers to walk away with a renewed sense of truth. Not the kind imposed by others, but the kind that lives quietly inside, waiting to be trusted. I hope they begin to recognize the subtle red flags not just in others—but in the way they silence or override their own needs and instincts.
If someone finds themselves saying, “This doesn’t apply to me—I’ve never been with a narcissist,” I’d invite them to read anyway. Because the core of this book is about reclaiming your own inner authority, rebuilding the relationship between your Inner Parent and Inner Child, and remembering that your worth is not something to be earned—it already lives in you.
In the end, The Chameleon’s Game is not a book about pain. It’s a book about inner power. About seeing clearly, choosing wisely, and living from a place of deep self-respect. That’s something we all secretly long for—and deeply deserve, no matter what our past has looked like.
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““No matter how deeply you love, you can’t reach someone who keeps hiding from their own truth.” – Katarzyna ‘Kasia’ Dodd
The Chameleon’s Game
Step into a story where nothing—and no one—is exactly what they seem. The Chameleon’s Game pulls you into a world of shifting identities, power plays, and the dangerous cost of reinvention. Kasia Dodd weaves a suspenseful, emotionally charged narrative that dares you to question how far you would go to protect your truth—or disguise it.
A novel that’s equal parts psychological intrigue and pulse-quickening drama.The Chameleon’s Game invites readers to navigate the blurred lines between authenticity and survival. Once you open the first page, you’ll find yourself caught in a game where the stakes are everything.
Are you ready to play the game?
Don’t just read a story—step into one. Claim your copy of The Chameleon’s Game today and discover why everyone is talking about the book that refuses to let you go.
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