Your Rituals Create The Future You—Your habits are your personal rituals. These habits become who you are. Whatever you consistently do creates your world: your self-image, your body, your mental discipline (or lack thereof), your character, the way others experience you…
Your rituals (habits) are how you create a new normal. Apply a practice here and a tool there, and at some point, you’re no longer practicing. Tell yourself, “I’m stronger than my challenges.” The 5-years-from-now you will be formed by how you spend your time between now and then.
My personal enemies are the ritual habits of sugar, stress, sloth, over-speediness, and spinning (in circles). My personal savior ritual habits (that override those enemies) are sleep, slowing down, stillness, stretching, strength, source, sex, smoothies, strategy, support and significance. Sacred, slow time keeps me on my inner axis. Some of my self-connection rituals (practices) are zazen breathing, feeling gratitude, moving my body, strength training, Soul Statements, bi-aural meditation soundtracks and journaling.
Personal Journaling Exercise
- My personal enemies are…
- My personal saviors are…
- My self-connection practices are…
- The self-connection rituals (practices) that I’m going to add are…
When the going gets tough, the true warrior keeps going. The best warriors practice everyday toughness. There are lots of days when it is easier to justify skipping agreements to yourself. Once you tell yourself that it is alright to pass on a meditation or workout, then it will be easier to skip that discipline more often going forward. This is how we slowly abandon the greater version of our life that could have been.
Do what you must to remove self-negotiation from your inner conversation. Don’t wake up and decide which disciplines or self-care rituals to do that day. Say to yourself, “I remember who and what and why I am. I can step up and do the hard thing”. A decision is more powerful than motivation. So, do the best action and let motivation come later on.
Consider that time spent in meditation or a physical workout is an investment in feeling better and in a stronger, more functional tomorrow. Even if you do an abbreviated version of an activity, such as journaling a paragraph instead of a page or doing 5 push-ups instead of 25, that is much better than not doing anything that day.
Don’t wish it was easier; I wish you were better.
-Jim Rohn
Personal Journaling Exercise
Do I keep commitments to myself when it doesn’t seem to matter?
Am I being honest about my own motivation or lack of motivation?
On the doorframe of my office is a sticky note with the word POSTURE written on it. This shifts my attention to how I’m holding my body and to straighten up. I also repeat a Soul Statement (such as, There is strength in my center) to anchor into a more powerful emotional posture. In this way, I use the simple act of traversing a doorway as a shift point ritual. When my posture lifts, my sense of self rises with it.
What if you let people see the best version of you when you enter a room? How might your interactions change if you adjusted your posture each time you passed through a doorway?
Everyday rituals like brushing your teeth or looking in a mirror can be cues to up-level your emotional and physical posture. Grinding coffee, blending a smoothie and even sitting on the toilet can be prompts to un-slouch the back and raise your diaphragm. A favorite ritual of mine is when I keep my best posture for the duration of the morning shower.
Personal Journaling Exercise
A cue that I could consistently employ to make a posture adjustment is…
More than a few couples whom I’ve coached have up-leveled their daily transition rituals. They discuss ahead of time what their ideal coming or going exchange looks like. One person may like to hear a certain phrase. Another person may prefer warm but silent eye contact. The important thing is to be fully present with each other for these brief moments.
Too often, we hesitate to speak true feelings of love. When we don’t use our voice in the moment, the moment goes on by. Why not take another ten seconds at everyday transitions to offer extra kindness to a loved one? When you do, both lives are made richer. Sharing what is meaningful increases meaning in life.
Conclusion
Incorporate posture as part of greater mindfulness. Bring a little more of you to the room and to the moment. First, go deep, and then get going! Our everyday opponents are believing our thoughts and self-negotiation. Counter these voices by routinely returning to the core of who you are with whatever combination of daily rituals deepens your connection to who you are deep inside—to your essence—and notice how your interactions change.
- Connect with Corey.
- More articles from our Executive Contributor.