10 Steps Towards Happiness and Contentment – Something that took me a long time to realize, and still takes continual work to this day, is that our perspectives are extremely powerful. It’s not as simple as curing clinical depression by choosing to be happy—if it was, we’d live in a utopia—but a lot of the time, we don’t realize that the biggest obstacle to our happiness and contentment is looking back at us in the mirror.
The problem is that we tend to get caught up in negative thinking. It’s easy to dwell on the things that aren’t going well in our lives—getting trapped in that negative mind-state prevents us from experiencing the joys of life.
So, how can we overcome our tendency toward negativity and begin to break down the barriers to our happiness?
1. Take stock of the things you have to be grateful for: Focus on the blessings in your life. We tend to take certain fundamental things for granted—our health, for example—and choose to focus on things we wish were better.
Ask yourself:
- Am I healthy?
- Do I have love in my life?
- Am I safe?
Unfortunately, the answer to these questions won’t always be yes. Remember, though, that life is a constant state of change, and that things won’t always be the way they are now.
2. Be present: So many of our worries come from casting our eyes backward or forward. Remember, though: the past is gone, and the future isn’t guaranteed. Do what you can in the present moment and try to force your mind back from elsewhere. Try taking ten slow, deep breaths, or focus fully on what is around you. What do your senses tell you? Put down your smartphone; while it can be incredibly powerful to have the world at your fingertips, it is a portal to everywhere but where you are now.
3. Don’t pass judgment: Life is hard, and most people are trying their best. Even if someone is behaving in a manner that is distasteful to you, remember that you are not in their head, and you do not know what is going on in their life. Do not ascribe intent. Even if someone did intentionally wrong you, dwelling on the negative feelings gives them power over you. Let it wash over you.
If you are in the habit of passing judgment on others, you will inevitably judge yourself. However, if you give people grace, then it is easier to forgive yourself when you fall short of your ideals – which, since we are human, we all do.
4. Do a values assessment: Identify the things you want from your life and decide if they actually align with your values. Let go of dreams and/or desires that are not yours. What makes you happy? When do you feel the most fulfilled? What brings you the most stress? Start asking yourself these kinds of questions, and follow the path to self-discovery. Only when you know yourself intimately can you set goals that, when pursued, will leave a feeling of fulfillment.
5. Give and receive love: If you have love in your life, you are rich. Someday, you may have all the money in the world, but people cannot live forever. If you are blessed to live a long life, there will come a time when the people you love will start to pass away or grow distant. When that time comes, you will long for the time when you were able to be with your loved ones; no material things will ever make up for that. Cherish every moment you have with them. Love everyone in your life with the knowledge that nothing lasts forever.
6. Take care of your health: We are fragile creatures, and you need to begin taking the steps to take care of yourself now. The freedom to be able to do all the activities you love is a blessing that cannot be understated. Time inevitably robs us of our youth, but you do not have to give up your health easily. The better you take care of yourself now, the more you can look forward to a long life.
7. Surrender control: The only things you can control are your actions and your attitude. Everything else is out of your hands. Stressing over things you cannot change is a useless exercise. This is incredibly hard to do, and it requires constant reinforcement. But if you don’t try, you will always be flailing in reach of something you can never have.
8. Be kind to people: Life is full of richness, but nothing lasts forever, and unfortunately, we are in a constant state of losing everything. The flip side of the incredible beauty and joy in life is the profound pain and sorrow that we all must experience at some point. Celebrate people’s triumphs and grieve their sorrows.
Be there for them through the good and the bad. If you do, you’ll find a whole community waiting to help you when you inevitably need it.
9. Be especially loving to children: Everything they encounter is new, and since the world serves tremendous joy and pain in equal measure, show them the world is wonderful first. They will learn about life’s challenges in time. Never let them lose their sense of wonder or whimsy– and if you’ve lost yours, let them teach you to see it again.
10. Open your mind: When you get set in your ways, the outside world can seem unfamiliar and strange. But understanding that there is more than one way to live this life will allow you to appreciate people for their differences, instead of feeling threatened by them. Accept that people are different from you, and try to see the world from their perspective.
“Hi, I’m Andrew Mercein, and I want to personally invite you to be a part of our community. ‘The Way Home’ is a place for reflection, connection, and growth. Together, we’ll navigate life’s challenges and celebrate its beauty. Let’s walk this path together.”
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