Embrace the Suck – Coined in the 2003 Iraq war, “embrace the suck” is a military term that refers to the choice everyone has in confronting adversity. It has become a familiar term for people trying to deal with uncomfortable circumstances, unfairness, pain, and suffering. It was a term I was well familiar with when I had a nervous breakdown in 2004.
When we experience fear, pain, threat, danger, or suffering, we have a choice. However, to make an informed choice, we must know we have a choice. We can react in fight, flight, or freeze, or we can respond with perseverance, resilience, and creativity. This choice depends on how conscious or aware you are of what is happening.
Our brains are hardwired to think habitually, which neuroscientists call “neuroplasticity.” When we think a thought repeatedly, we form neural pathways that become increasingly entrenched. The good news is we can replace negative habitual thinking with positive habitual thinking. Neuroscientists have also found that through prejudice, bias, perception, and projection, we create what we experience. This is called simulation. When we look for problems, we will find them. When we look for solutions, we will find them.
There are also behaviors that will help us find the solutions to our challenges quicker and easier. Hence, “embrace the suck.”
Here are a few ways to do just that:
Stay in your own lane.
Another way to say this is to “focus on your own path.” Jesus said, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” In other words, we spend too much time criticizing others and not focusing on our own improvement. Critical thinking does not include criticism of others or us. Critical thinking is the ability to interpret, evaluate and analyze facts to form a conclusion or decide if something is right or wrong. Another word for this is mindfulness. When we focus on our own thoughts, beliefs, and behavior, we have better control over what we experience.
Turn fear into excitement.
There is a fine line between fear and excitement. Many people don’t know that we have a choice whether to feel afraid or feel excited. It takes a bit of focus to realize we have a choice when we feel afraid. When you are anxious or worried, imagine it is Christmas Day or your birthday, and you are excited about being with family and friends. Incredible as it may seem, you can change feeling afraid to feeling excited. It only depends on your perceptions. Try it!
Want what you get.
Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get. In other words, focus on gratitude for what you have rather than stressing over what you don’t have. I believe that gratitude is the most powerful positive emotion in our toolbox. The mood of any situation can be shifted from negative to positive by simply focusing on feeling grateful. Instead of being disappointed over not getting that promotion, be grateful for having a job. Instead of stressing over the political situation in this country, be grateful we live in a country that is better than any other.
Find your superpower.
I was asked in an interview the other day, “What is your superpower?” I thought it was a great question; most people don’t even give themselves enough confidence to believe that they have a superpower. It is empowering to believe that we have a superpower; the only trick is to decide which one we have. It could be the ability to comfort others or to explain things to others. It could be the ability to cheer others or to encourage them in their endeavors. It could be the ability to make people laugh or to simply be with them in their grief. What is your superpower?
Find the opportunity.
There are no failures, only opportunities. When we “fail” something, it is a message from the universe that it is time to change direction. Our perception is critical to achieving success by keeping positive during trying times. What are we not seeing? What exciting adventure awaits? What is something new we can learn and do? Rather than be depressed over not getting what we want, chin up and go get something else.
Write your own story.
If you keep doing what you are doing, you will keep getting what you are getting. Change the narrative. Almost every success story in modern history involved people who rose above their challenges to achieve greatness. We are always telling ourselves stories about what we are experiencing. It is how the brain attempts to make sense out of the millions of bits of data it experiences every day. Depressed people tell themselves sad stories, while happy people tell themselves exciting, adventurous, funny stories. We can program our minds how to see the world in a positive light (or a negative light). Be the hero of your own story.
Find a mastermind group.
One of the most powerful forces in the universe is the energy of a like-minded group of people focused on achieving a goal. Today, these groups are called mastermind groups. There are thousands of mastermind groups on the internet which are concerned about every possible subject on the planet. Find one that discusses topics you are interested in or need help with. When we collaborate, anything is possible.
There is no reason we should accept the “suck” and be victimized by our circumstances. Embrace it, change it, and make it the motivation to rise above what you are experiencing.
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