From Rejection to Acceptance: Healing Unworthiness and Finding True Belonging – To belong is a fundamental human need. It gives us a sense of purpose and connects us to the world. Ironically, though, the world around us often leaves us feeling rejected, unseen, and forgotten about. As much as we need to belong to a support network – be it family, friends, or common interest groups— we are also unique individuals. This paradox can cause friction in our lives because belonging in the world often demands that we hide parts of ourselves. Each group, whether it’s your family or religion, comes with a set of rules you must follow to be accepted.
This can leave us feeling trapped: having to choose between our authentic expression and inner peace or people and places that give us meaning. To cope with this conflict, we can adopt a masquerade-like quality to our lives where we live out two separate identities: one that the outside world sees and the other that occurs in the shadows, where it’s safe to express yourself freely.
This causes a fracture in your soul and identity, breeding deep self-doubt, perfectionism, and a persistent feeling of unworthiness. Many of us can carry around this soul fracture without realizing it is the root cause of many of our struggles in life, from personal relationship patterns to professional unhappiness.
Living with two conflicting identities creates a wound in our psyche that tells us we are not worthy of love and acceptance as we are. Instead, we feel we must become somebody else to receive acceptance.
The Unworthiness Wound
The unworthiness wound is deep and often unconscious, directing our lives into a chase for belonging. We adopt behaviors, lifestyles, and relationships just to soothe our feelings of unworthiness and to prove that we belong, to say, “Choose me. Don’t reject me.”
However, that wound cannot be healed through people-pleasing tendencies or a picture-perfect life. It can only truly be healed when we feel content with ourselves, when we accept ourselves as we are, and when we appreciate our unique qualities. Accepting our authentic selves is an act of courage. To be radically authentic is to no longer stay quiet but to say, “I belong to myself, and that’s the start of all honest connection.”
Here are three steps to help you reconnect with yourself and heal the unworthiness wound:
1. Connected With Your Body Using Somatic Yoga
Your physical body is your home. It has been with you since before you came into this world and carries all of your unique qualities, strengths, and desires. Somatic yoga is a gentle yet powerful practice accessible to all bodies designed to restore your relationship with your home. It emphasizes slow, mindful movements that increase body awareness and release stored tension and trauma. By practicing somatic yoga, you can cultivate a deeper understanding and acceptance of yourself. This practice can ignite your inner wisdom, remind you of your personal power, and provide a consistent, safe home to retreat to. This connection to yourself reinforces to your mind, body, and nervous system that you are worthy of a connection that does not limit your expression or instill self-doubt.
2. Use the Affirmation:
“My Worth is Self-Evident, I Don’t Need to Prove It.” Affirmations are powerful tools for reprogramming your subconscious mind. By consistently repeating the affirmation, “My worth is self-evident; I don’t need to prove it,” you begin to challenge and change the deeply ingrained beliefs of unworthiness. Over time, this affirmation can help you internalize the truth that you are inherently valuable, just as you are.
3. Engage in a Community:
That Honors Authenticity and Supports You in Being Real. Finding a community that values authenticity is crucial for your sense of belonging. Seek out groups or individuals who encourage you to be your true self, celebrate your uniqueness, and support you in your journey of self-discovery and acceptance. Whether it’s a support group, a circle of friends, or an online community, being part of a group that honors authenticity can provide the validation and support you need to heal and grow. Belonging is a deep human need and starts with belonging to yourself.
By connecting with your body, affirming your inherent worth, and engaging with a supportive community, you can heal the wounds of unworthiness and create a life where you feel seen, valued, and truly belong.
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