Recovering Empath: How to Care Without Carrying – Most of my life, I’ve picked up on the energy and felt the feelings of those around me; I just couldn’t always translate what I felt. I was an empath. There was even a Star Trek character whose job was using this skill set—an Empath.
And if you’re an empath, you know exactly what it means: feeling everything—not just your own emotions but the moods, feelings, pain, and struggles of everyone around you. Teaching martial arts classes, I could feel when students were dehydrated or had a pulled muscle.
To be honest, I WISH more people understood that as an empath, you don’t ONLY pick up the negatives, although that’s often how it feels. Your emotional openness is a whole array—the upsets and happiness and joy of others. It’s how it works: picking up feelings is like an antenna or a super sniffer—you pick up everything. Whether or not you like it!
What It Means to Be an Empath
Empaths are highly sensitive individuals with a deep capacity for feeling, understanding, and translating others’ emotions. They are not just kind or compassionate; they experience the emotions of others as if they were their own. They feel their feelings in their own bodies.
Empaths can often:
- Absorb the emotions of those around them
- Struggle with boundaries because they feel responsible for others’ pain
- Experience sensory overload in crowded or emotionally charged environments
- Feel drained after social interactions, even ones that seem positive
- Have strong intuition, often picking up on subtle emotional cues
- Sounds like a superpower, right? In some ways, it is. But like any ability, it can become overwhelming if left unchecked. That’s why learning to separate what’s yours from what isn’t is crucial.
The Physical Toll of Being an Empath
Empathy doesn’t just affect emotions—it can profoundly impact the body. When you’re constantly absorbing others’ energy, your nervous system stays on high alert.
This can potentially lead to:
- Chronic stress and burnout
- Adrenal fatigue (your body stays in fight-or-flight mode too often)
- Anxiety and feeling overwhelmed
- Unexplained physical pain or tension (especially in the neck and shoulders)
- Digestive issues (because the gut is the “second brain”)
- Difficulty sleeping due to an overactive mind
- Empaths often don’t realize how much of their physical exhaustion stems from emotional overload. It’s similar to someone who gets overwhelmed by sounds or smells.
How My Brain Injury Changed My Empathic Experience
In 2014, I had a life-altering car accident resulting in a traumatic brain injury. Before the accident, I lived in a state of emotional absorption. If someone near me was anxious, I felt it in my body as if it were my own. If they were grieving, I carried their sorrow with me, sometimes without even knowing why I felt heavy. I wanted to help, fix, and solve the feelings.
After my injury, something shifted.
I still picked up on emotions and energy—almost as if I were looking at a movie or picture—and I no longer felt them in my own body. It was like the connection was rewired. Instead of being a sponge, I became an observer. I noticed emotional energy around me, but it no longer seeped into my bones.
At first, this change was unsettling. Had I lost my empathy? Was I becoming numb? But over time, I realized this shift was a GIFT. It allows me to stay present with others’ emotions without carrying them as my own burden. It’s actually helped my compassion; I no longer feel the need to jump into the well if someone falls in.
The Path to Recovery: Healthy Empathy vs. Emotional Absorption
If you’re an empath struggling to maintain balance, I feel for you! Here are a few practices I was able to glean from my transition. You shouldn’t need a TBI to rewire your empath abilities and use them beneficially.
Separate Yourself.
- Before reacting to a strong emotion, ask: Is this mine?
- If it’s not, visualize releasing it or setting it outside of you.
Boundaries are Your Lifeblood.
- It’s okay to say no and remove yourself from situations or people.
- You are not responsible for fixing anyone’s emotions.
- Allow others to ASK for your help without just jumping in.
Ground Yourself Daily
- Physical movement (walking, stretching, boxing/martial arts) helps release stored energy.
- Deep breathing and meditation calm the nervous system.
- Sing, dance, laugh, and get playful.
Limit Energy Drains
- Pay attention to relationships and situations where you are exhausted.
- Protect your peace by choosing where and how you engage.
See Your Empathy as a Skill or Tool, Not an Obligation
- Being aware of emotions doesn’t mean you have to carry them.
- Use your insight wisely, but don’t let it consume you.
- “You can care without carrying.”
Embrace the Shift
Being a recovering empath takes practice, and it doesn’t mean losing your ability to care—it means caring in a way that doesn’t deplete you. That’s why learning to separate what’s yours from what isn’t is crucial.
My brain injury forced me to find a new way to experience the world, one where I could still understand emotions but not become them. While I wouldn’t wish a traumatic brain injury on anyone, I do wish more empaths could learn this lesson without a major life-altering event.
Empathy is a beautiful gift, especially when it’s handled with care. If you’re an empath, know you don’t have to suffer under the weight of the world. You can learn to hold space for others without losing yourself in the process. And that’s true empowerment.
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