Self Abandonment to Self Loyalty: A Somatic Approach to True Self Love – The month of self-love has arrived again.
Sometimes, we can be so overrun with the same messages of self-love that they become monotone to our system instead of a lovely, melodic harmony.
I am going to take you on a somatic self-love journey that meets the depths that you require to rewire for true self-loyalty instead of the surface self-love advice you might be used to following.
If you’re a woman who has suffered an abandonment wound by having a parent who wasn’t able to be fully present emotionally, mentally, or physically, then listen up.
We have learned to self-abandon as a pattern and it shows up in our bodies and then it is highlighted in our life through relationships, money and even our health.
The path to healing is being able to move from self-abandonment to self-loyalty.
Here are questions you can ask yourself and journal on that will support your path back to self-loyalty.
1. List your core values and then look at all the parts of your life – relationships, spirituality, self-care, health and fitness, career, money, etc. and ask is my behavior, thoughts and actions are congruent with my values.
2. Am I fawning ( the dis-ease of please and appease) to get approval, validation, or acceptance from others? Name all the ways you have disregarded your inner voice because you didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.
3. How often do I “endure” discomfort because I don’t want to rock the boat, be difficult or cause a problem? A hint to this is if you are trying to get comfortable and you would really love the light off or another pillow, but you settle into the ‘just enough comfort/pleasure’ that you endure instead of making it how you would really like it.
Okay, so now that you have the answers to these questions, book yourself for an hour of pleasure every day. That could mean just setting a timer for 10 minutes 6x a day to drop into your body and check in with yourself.
It could mean a solid hour of rest in the afternoon or prioritizing the sun on your face, no matter the temperature.
Start to learn yourself to see where you are contorting, constricting and holding the tension and stress in your body. You don’t need to figure it out to analyze why. Let’s let go of stories and learn to be with what is.
This is the medicine of coming home to yourself.
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Read more from VIP Executive Contributor Danielle Marggraf.