This Holiday Season, Give the Gift of Light – The holidays are a time of joy and celebration, but for many people, the ambient festivity illuminates something we feel is missing—a spotlight on things we wish we had but don’t. Sometimes, life circumstances mean that we aren’t able to get together with the people we love. Some people may feel like they don’t have a family to come back to at all.
For such people, the intimate, familial nature of holiday celebrations can lead to feelings of isolation. It doesn’t help that—in the northern hemisphere, at least—the holidays arrive just as winter descends upon the world, bringing short days and long nights. Sometimes, as the world turns away from the sun, it isn’t just the earth that falls into shadow, but the people living in it.
It doesn’t help that, for many, the true meaning of the holidays has been swept away in a tide of materialism. What we call “the season of giving” is not about things—although the commercialization that permeates every facet of the holiday season could mislead you into thinking it was—but instead about values: family, community, and charity, which, unlike materialism, lead to actual fulfillment.
If buying gift after gift feels hollow, that’s because it often is. Of course, giving and receiving gifts is one of the fabled love languages, but not everyone speaks that particular language. And besides, the beauty in a gift comes from the fact that you see someone in something, or vice versa- not because the time of year necessitates that you buy it for them.
The unfortunate truth is that societal pressure to spend makes the holidays an extremely stressful time for many. Keep that in mind if you don’t receive the gift you expected from someone or feel guilty because you won’t be able to give as much as you want. Have compassion for yourself and each other, and remember that there are other, just as (or even more) meaningful ways to give someone a gift, including:
- Quality Time: Spending undistracted time with them.
- Handwritten Letters: Expressing, in words, why they’re special to you.
- Baked Goods: Putting in the effort to bake a special treat.
- DIY Crafts: Creating something artistic and personal.
- Personalized Playlists: Make a playlist of songs that remind you of them.
There are countless ways to express love and appreciation that don’t require breaking the bank.
It’s not the “season of savings,” but the season of saving each other.
In my work at the Mental Health Television Network, I’ve spoken with hundreds of medical professionals, wellness experts, and real, everyday people. I consistently hear that folks are struggling now more than ever. There is a creeping hopelessness that permeates every aspect of our lives, seeping into the foundations of society and challenging the structural integrity of our institutions. A hollow, empty structure cannot withstand much weight, and people are buckling against the unceasing pressure of existence. Those who feel safe, who feel seen, heard, and, above all, valued are the building blocks of resilient communities. And those communities, in turn, weave together to form the fabric of a unified nation.
Even if someone insists they’re all right, be there for them. There are countless reasons why they might not be open about their struggles: perhaps they fear being a burden and putting their sorrows onto someone else. Maybe they don’t want to be seen as “weak,” unable to let go of archaic ideals of lone warriors fighting losing battles against all odds, like Atlas holding the entire world upon his shoulders. It could be that they don’t want to admit that they’re not okay for fear that once they do, their anxieties will become real, as if they aren’t real enough already.
Whatever their reasoning, you can’t force someone to let you in against their will. You can, however, let them know that they don’t have to shoulder the weight of uncertainty and fear alone. Sometimes, that knowledge is enough. It’s an incredibly isolating thing to find yourself in a world full of strangers, especially at a time of year when everyone else appears to be joyful.
The greatest gift we can give one another is to be kind and gentle and to remember that everyone is fighting a hard battle. We are so often our own harshest critics, and we ought not to compound that in others by piling on to each other. Don’t give people cause to believe those critical voices, but instead, be why they know not to listen to them.
Give the Gift of Light
This holiday season, be the reason someone else sees good in the world, even if—especially if—you can’t see it yourself. Check in on your loved ones and the people in your community. Lend them a compassionate ear. Let them speak and be heard so they know that they’re valued and that they matter. If you see someone struggling, offer to help—even something as simple as carrying the groceries in for a neighbor can reignite someone’s faith in humanity. You never know who is in need of a lift. If you admire someone, tell them what it is you appreciate about them. It might just be exactly what they needed to hear at that moment.
People often say, “Be the change you wish to see.” In a similar vein, when you’re in a dark place, be the light you cannot see in the world. You just might find that, in reflecting your light, the people you shine upon will illuminate the darkness for you.
If you’re one of the people struggling this holiday season, please know that you’re not alone. There are resources to help, and you’ll find that when you ask for help, you’ll receive it. Just as the face of the world will, in time, turn back towards the sun and flood the earth with light, I promise that light will shine upon you once again.
“Hi, I’m Andrew Mercein, and I want to personally invite you to be a part of our community. ‘The Way Home’ is a place for reflection, connection, and growth. Together, we’ll navigate life’s challenges and celebrate its beauty. Let’s walk this path together.”
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