Time: It’s Forgotten Gifts – As regular readers of this wonderful magazine might remember, I’m a Licensed Mental Health Therapist and Mindset Coach. Though I have a professional office, I do the majority of my work in my home office, working virtually with clients from around the country. My work desk is where I am sitting 8-11 hours per day helping clients, and writing.
I am a cat owner as I adore them. 8 years ago I rescued my wonderful cat I named Zen. Besides being my beloved animal, she has been my companion all the time as she sits right here on top of the desk with me during my entire workday. She purrs and smiles at me. Clients smile whenever they see her and always ask where she is if her face happens to be off-camera view. Zen and I eat every meal together, and of course, she always sleeps with me on my bed (and IN the bed under the covers during the cold months).
Life Change
Because she has been such a huge presence in my life, and a daily touchstone of fuzzy love and joy, it was a devastating event when I found out that she had terminal cancer. It developed quickly and 3 weeks later I chose to have her transitioned due to her outward signs of suffering.
For ANY pet lover, the loss of an animal can be extremely hard. I have gone through it over and over in my lifetime. But this one for me was especially hard since she and I spent so much constant day-to-day time together. It was the loss of a companion. A partner. During the extreme grief that I was experiencing, I decided to write what I was feeling in hopes of helping me to express the pain and therefore heal through it. (Quite simply: I decided to take my own advice of what I suggest to my clients when they are in pain).
Personal Testimony
I am choosing to share with you a little bit of what I wrote the night before I took her to be transitioned. My hope is that you may get a better sense of the extreme depth of my sadness:
“It all seems death. As tonight might be my last night with you and how I wish I could go with you as we are liberated from pain and anguish.
Life seems meaningless without you. Dead. Void. Hollow.
And I have to go to bed tonight and try to sleep only to wake up tomorrow to call in the vet appt. How dreary a reality is that? I hate it.
I want to go with you Zen. I want to go to where there is no pain from loving. I want to go to where all is light and love and purring and fur. I want to go there.
My heart aches. My stomach pains. I am hollow now.”
Lifeless
I was numb and emotionally curled off from life for weeks after. I still showed up every day for my clients, I still went through all the motions necessary for daily living, but inside I was very empty. I am sharing this with you to give this message:
Many times, we give time a bad rap. We internally complain we don’t have enough time during each day. We become stressed and often see time as our enemy.
Brilliance
We forget about the incredible power that time has for allowing us to heal. It is through allowing the grieving process to happen OVER TIME, that our life and our emotional wellness can return.
For anyone, I do recommend writing to express whatever it is that is going on inside you when you’re in extreme emotional pain. Also: Lean on the emotional support of others. Go outside and connect with the magic of nature. Seek professional help if you need to. But all the while, know that time is going to help you heal. It won’t erase the pain, but it will make it manageable and less potent day by day so you can get on with living a joy-filled and meaningful life.
It has now been 10 weeks since I wrote that letter of wanting death to envelop me. Sitting here now, writing this article, I am profoundly thankful for the time. I feel grounded by it. Safe. Assured. I am reminded that whatever befalls me, is a constant that will always be there to help me.
The passing of time can also bring us the ability to open up to forgive. Just as the passing of time heals our physical bodies by allowing muscles, skin, and all parts of the body to heal when injured, it does this same process internally with our emotions as well.
Question for you
I’m hoping you take a moment to think about; what are the gifts that time has brought to you over your lifetime. By pondering this question, it might give you an entirely new perspective on the value of time and help you understand it to be a sacred part of your life’s journey.
- Connect with Virginia Oman
- More articles from our VIP Executive Contributor, Virginia Oman