Turning down the dial on the chaos of the outer world
I was steaming…
Pelvic steaming is a self-care practice of mine that has been around for centuries.
While it is not common practice today like much of what I practice and preach I think it should be.
I sit on my beautiful handcrafted wood sauna with a lush purple cushion and steep love into the parts of me that have historically held so much.
- And trauma…
So many of the moments I can’t remember are held in my pelvis and hips.
While I can’t paint a picture of specifically what happened as various times in my personal history using spoken language. I can tell you through color, texture, and sensation.
Words aren’t always necessary when seeking to understand the body and often dilute the potency of what it’s attempting to share.
The 30 minutes I spend with my sauna have become sacred to me. They are commenced with pushing play on a curated playlist of instrumental music, followed by closing me eyes and being with my breath.
My french bulldog Henri, who has become my trusty steaming companion, can always be found in the chair located just next to my sauna.
In a recent steaming session I was sitting there eyes closed and this voice appeared in my internal dialogue..
My eyes popped open. I had heard her before and knew when she arrived in conversation. It was my invitation to lean in and listen.
This voice sounded nothing like me but I knew it was a part of me.
I’ve been struggling with the idea that I’m a failure and that I’m not good. Or worthy enough of providing service to the world and being abundantly supported in doing so…
I’ve never not been busy. I’ve never known what it was like to just sit and be I can’t recall a time when my feet weren’t moving me in some capacity unless I was in bed
Or, a time when my brain wasn’t even busier than my body. I had never known genuine stillness and the quiet that comes with it.
Steaming is one way I am coming to know both of them in a really intimate way, and it’s glorious and terrifying all at the same time.
The madness and the magic of the duality of life.
This voice, she, was me… my higher self…I knew based on how my body responded as she spoke.
It tingled with recognition as to what was literally and physically registering for me as I listened
“Taylor, we are not doubtful that you’re capable of anything you put your mind to we know you have a gift. In fact, multiple to offer the world, we are not quite sure you fully know how to employ those gifts in caring for yourself..”
“Thus, we are teaching you, by pivoting the constant chatter that was your life to a savory walk”
“This is as temporary and uncomfortable as you want it to be, the key is, just lean in.”
“The more you pull back the harder this will feel.”
“The more space you put between yourself and your conditioned desire to react the more your body trusts she’s supported and understands that she doesn’t have to throw grenades to get your attention.”
“When we know and have confidence that you can take care of you better than you take care of your clients and those you love we will pivot back.”
“There are so many people on the other side of this season of life”
“And, none of it matters if you’re falling apart and aren’t enjoying a moment of this what can be so beautiful life.”
“Of course you are capable.”
“As we’ve said before that capability and our understanding of your capacity to push is why we are pulling back, because we all know just how much you’re capable of.”
“We’re here and now you can hear us; this is how we breakdown the walls and build the bridges in their place.”
“We love you and it’s all coming in good time, lean in, we got you ❤️”
Shook. I was shook.
While my brain didn’t love what it was hearing my body took a deep breath knowing that it can now be heard and didn’t have to suffer in silence any longer. She’s wise. The body is. Life gets hard the moment we stop listening.
Connect with Taylor.