Amber Winn

Many times, I half-joke about being a recovering perfectionist. From adolescence to adulthood, I viewed myself as an overall failure. I allowed my beliefs about myself keep me trapped in an unending merry-go-round of shame and self-ridicule. I’d try, fail, beat myself up, try again, rely on other people’s praise for validation and proof of self-worth and if that didn’t happen, in my mind that meant I failed. I thought if I could project perfect, I was put-together and proving my worth as a person.

Ready or not, 2023 is here! Hopefully, you are ready and have thought of at least one outrageous goal that you’d like to achieve. Why outrageous? Why not? Now’s a perfect time. You have so much potential, so much going for you, so why not use it and see where it takes you? Is the thought of going all-in on such a goal holding you back because of a deeply-held fear that you might fail? To that I say, you will absolutely fail! If that sounded a bit harsh, when did we make failing such a bad thing? Anytime we start something new, there will be a refining process. Historically, accepting failure was very difficult for me because I took it as a personal hit. I’d say to myself, “Maybe this wasn’t the goal for me, I’ll never measure up, and I’m not good enough.”

Whether it’s partners, kids, extended family, or friends, the holidays can offer opportunities for relationships to be challenged. Maybe there are a lot of tense relationships in your family dynamic that make celebrating holidays more difficult and a little less enjoyable. You are not alone in feeling this way and all is not lost. It is still entirely possible to have a fun, memorable holiday season.