As a woman who has gone through the beautiful process of childbirth, the transformation of one’s body
that often accompanies the experience often leaves you with scars that make you doubt your beauty or
worth. Each time you look into the mirror, appreciating your well-shaped body becomes difficult at the
sight of even the faintest stretch marks on your stomach.
The situation becomes worse when you recognize societal standards are often unrealistic, especially
over the media, of how a woman’s body is expected to look after childbirth. Sometimes feelings of
shame are accompanied by wishes that your “old self” was looking back at you in the mirror. Have
you ever considered that the extra body weight and stretch marks that are part of childbirth actually
adds beauty to your body as a mother?
Beauty from within
Of course, the beauty doesn’t lie in the scars; rather, it lies in what they represent – the formation of a
new life. Part of celebrating a new child’s life should include celebrating the sacrifice you are willing to make and the transformation process that comes with it. It may be time for you to adjust the lenses through which you view the scars left after childbirth. View them with beauty, not disdain.
Childbirth scars are normal and one of many we receive throughout our lifetime – others may include
scars left by bodily injury and emotional scars caused by relationship issues. The acknowledgment of
emotional scars is a vital part of the healing process. Most often, healing requires the right source of
inspiration and sometimes the professional help of others to help reawaken your spirit and boost
your ability to see yourself as a warrior.
When you feel better about yourself and realize how much someone else needs you to stay positive, the
pain and self-consciousness is easier managed. It is not common to learn how battle scars, for instance,
can make people wiser or how trauma can help you to appreciate life as well as to help you prepare for
the inevitability of life’s challenges.
Beyond every other thing, be thankful for who you are and what you can become; be grateful for your
experiences and transformations you have and will continue to pass through; be appreciative of what
can be learned from every moment in your life. Rather than worrying about what you cannot control,
focus on what you have control over. Realize that there are more pressing issues you face in life than
being concerned about the appearance of the scars you bear.
From Broken to Beautiful
Often, we tend not to come to terms with having to break something in order to fix it. Of course, this
may sound counterintuitive; however, you don’t usually fix something that isn’t broken. Have you ever
considered that fixing something that is broken may bring out more beauty when mended?
How often do we spend time and energy creating something of beauty, only to watch it break or turn
out differently than what we had envisioned it to look like? It’s in our nature to throw the item away
and start over again instead of trying to mend it. Have you ever considered that properly mending
something may make the item more unique and precious?
The Japanese Precious Scars Art
There is a Japanese practice that involves enhancing the beauty and value of a broken vessel. The
process is called Kintsugi, which means golden (“kin”) and repair (“tsugi”). The art or technique uses
liquid gold or lacquer dusted with powdered gold to join fragmented pottery items and enhance and fortify the breaks. Kintsugi artists use resin to join the broken pieces, which result in a
scar, while the connection becomes stronger and more beautiful to look at.
Upon completion, each repaired piece is unique in its beauty and strength. When broken, ceramics shatter randomly. As they are mended, each is unique and has its own story to tell. Anciently and today, the creative ability to make an unsightly wound become a precious scar is therapeutic and helpful to one who can fix what was once broken.
Messages conveyed by the Japanese Art
of Precious Scars
It’s only human to want our lives to be perfect – we want an ideal relationship, career, and family.
However, our lives may not always go according to our intended plan. Sometimes the pain is inflicted upon
us through the careless thoughts or acts of sometimes we love and trust, while sometimes, we
inadvertently inflict the pain upon ourselves. Rather than ignore the possibility of having our dreams
shattered, Kintsugi teaches us to embrace brokenness or flaws that accompany our brokenness with
open arms, knowing that we have the unique ability and resources to mend the broken pieces. Wisdom
comes when we are not afraid to consider our own brokenness.
Being broken doesn’t mean useless.
Just because something is broken doesn’t mean it is useless. The break constitutes the importance of its
unique history, just like the events that occur to us also become a part of who we are and are part of our
own defining story. As the pieces get cemented back together to become a work of art, the result
becomes more valuable, leaving precious scars.
There is a tendency in all of us to quickly attempt to mend whatever is broken, not allowing the time
necessary to heal the break properly and with the care it deserves and needs. Healing ourselves is not a
superglue fix! Think about the beauty and wisdom you now exhibit, knowing what you may not
have known before feeling broken. The new vessel (you) has added increased beauty and strength
than the old vessel.
Resilience is key
Another unmistakable message from Kintsugi involves being resilient. Rather than being overwhelmed
with sadness and hurt when we experience the inevitable traumatic events that accompany each life,
it’s critical that we learn and grow from those times. Those who lack the ability to move forward are in a sense, moving backward. In our lives, damage occurs. Our goal then is to avoid being distracted and
pursue the dream of becoming whole again. The learning is in the journey, it’s the process of recognizing, growing, and becoming the “YOU” that you thought was never possible.
At Cairn The Load, we’ve had countless people come to us with brokenness, being bittered and
shattered by their life experiences. So many have wondered if it would be possible to become whole
again. The reality is that most of us have experienced moments like that – or at the very least, we’ve had
people around us whose lives were shattered by tragedy and feelings of unfulfilled expectations.
Don’t run away from experience or attempt to hide your scars. They represent who you are, they are a
part of your beautiful story. Not only that, but they also help to shape who you are and who you desire
to become. Being proud of your scars can only happen if you seek to mend the pain that comes from
them. Recognizing your scars is crucial in becoming revitalized and finding the new you.
Join our course from Broken to Beautiful to where Mark and Annette Anderson share experiences and
knowledge on the healing process and journey. Our mission is to help you join your broken pieces
together while also revealing the beauty therein. Remember, you are not alone!
Finding me Free Gift
We all lose touch with ourselves at some point in life – it’s normal. Whether you’re middle-aged and facing the reality that your kids are leaving for college, or you have young kids and are just realizing that somewhere in the midst of being a parent, you’ve lost yourself; if you’re facing the breakup of a marriage; or you’re leaving an abusive and oppressive marriage; maybe you’re living the life set out for you by someone else – your parents, perhaps.
Whatever the reason, if you’ve ever looked into a mirror and thought, “Who is this person?” this book is for you.
In the next few chapters of this short book, we will go on a healing journey together. On this journey, you will get to know a little bit more about who you are. Grab Your Free Gift Today!