LOOKING for the Negative – Have you ever wondered why we have such a tendency to look for the negative in life, as in what might go wrong? Millions of people have what seems like a habit of looking for the negative all the time. It’s not only stressful for them psychologically, but being around these kinds of people can be tiring and unpleasant.
The Power of Negativity Bias
If you haven’t yet heard of the term “negativity bias,” I’d like to introduce you to it as it can be a life changer when we understand this….
Our Ancient Brains Still at Work
It is easy for us to forget that underneath all our fancy intelligence and wisdom, we are all primates. Mammals. And our neurological systems are inherited from long, long ago, when we were in the wild, trying to survive from one day to the next. These neurological systems haven’t kept up with our modern times, and many of our automatic responses are elicited by the more reptilian (very old) part deep inside our brain.
Why We Owe Our Survival to This Instinct
It’s important to understand that we owe our existence to this part of the brain, as it is the part that has made us survive as a species for over 250,000 years! We were always scanning for possible dangers that may lie ahead. A sound in the bush may indicate that a dangerous animal is hunting us. A dark shadow in the distance, possibly hiding a member of an enemy tribe. We were on alert all the time. We HAD to do this when we were in the wild, and the ones who got good at being able to identify dangers were the ones who survived. The ones that did not develop a good “threat” or “danger” mechanism died out.
The Velcro and Teflon Effect
Psychologist Rick Hanson from UC Berkeley has described that we are genetically wired so that “we have Velcro for the negative and Teflon for the positive.”
Why Overriding Negativity Bias Matters
As I mentioned, we owe a great deal of thanks to this neurological “habit” that we are BORN with, as it has enabled us to survive. So we need to acknowledge why we have this tendency and also know that because our inherent bias to look for the negative is so powerful, it requires us 3 to 5 times the effort in these modern times to tame it. How? We do this by deliberately making a practice of looking for the positive.
You Can’t Erase It, But You Can Manage It
We need not worry that by overriding this negative bias, we will put ourselves in great danger because this is a primal instinct that is encoded in our DNA. We cannot stop or erase it from being there. But we can make sure that we are consciously making a point to focus on the positive as we go through our day in order to diminish its effects and allow us to experience the joy of living.
The Science-Backed Benefits of Positivity
There is plenty of ample research showing that people who have successfully been able to do this are happier, more fulfilled, live longer, and have a much broader network of friends (because they are more enjoyable to be around) than those who don’t cultivate this positivity habit. You might want to read this paragraph again because those four attributes are worth their weight in gold.
How to Start Rewiring Your Brain for Positivity
If that sounds like something you’d like, then the question is, how do we take advantage of knowing all this? We should realize that because we are wired for the negative, we need to practice each day consciously focusing on acknowledging and identifying all the many positives if we want to experience more joy in life. And by doing so, we will not only have more fulfilling lives but will be the type of person others WANT to be around.
Why Gratitude Journals Work
You have heard of people keeping “gratitude” journals. Hopefully, after reading this article, you will have a whole new view of why they are so recommended and helpful. Many people have overlooked them, thinking that these journals are just something to do “for fun.” If you were one of those people, I hope you are getting a different perspective on this now. There is a science behind them. If you haven’t started one of these before, now is the perfect time. People who keep gratitude journals (just stating three things a day) report how much easier it becomes to see the positives all around them every day. The reason for this is that they are consciously LOOKING for them, and with consistency, it becomes an automatic habit.
Meet Your Inner Negative Detective
Another tip is to instill a little “negative detective” on your shoulder. Imagine her or him with a raincoat, hat, pipe, and large magnifying glass. Be aware of its presence, which will make it easier for you to catch yourself during the day when you are thinking thoughts of worry. When your little detective catches one, identify the thought, take a deep breath, and just ask yourself… Is this particular thing I’m worrying about life-threatening to me? If NO, then thank your detective for identifying it and sending the thought out into nothing. Then, take 1 second to focus on something wonderful. Just one second. This entire exercise can be done in less than 3 seconds, and when you’ve made it a habit, it will become automatic.
Be Patient—It’s Worth It
Because it requires effort on our part, don’t expect it to be a fast change. IT (like learning anything new) requires time and patience. But AS you are developing this new habit, you will start to notice a difference in the quality of your day. And as every single one of us wants to feel good as much as possible, this can be a life changer. Even if you begin this process and identify just 1-2 negative thoughts in your day, that’s a perfect start.
Need More Guidance? Reach Out
If you’d like to learn more about how you can implement tools for better living in your life, please feel free to contact me. I am easy to reach and always offer a free consultation to discuss your particular challenges and how to surpass them. VirginiaOman.com
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