This New Year, Let Self-Reflection Guide Your Resolutions – The New Year is a time of joy and celebration, but once the confetti settles and the lingering firework smoke clears the air, we’re offered a tremendous opportunity for reflection. In recent years, there’s been a movement away from making New Year’s resolutions, but flipping the calendar to a new year is a chance to turn a proverbial new leaf—to shed old habits, build new ones, or, at the very least, appreciate the progress you’ve made over the last 12 months. Whether or not you’re looking to make a resolution this year, there are a few steps everyone can take to move toward self-awareness and fulfillment.
Reexamine your rituals
It’s easy to fall into patterns in our lives. While many people find it helpful to have a consistent routine, those routines can become overly rigid and restrict change. In this day and age, with more distractions than ever, our day-to-day lives provide little impetus for self-reflection, which is critical for growth.
As you go through your routine, examine the things you do and why. Ask yourself:
- Why am I taking this action?
- Is it still serving its intended purpose?
- What are its consequences?
Say that you drink coffee every morning. Can you remember when you first started? It’s the kind of thing you can easily start doing without much thought—maybe your parents always had a pot on—that just becomes a part of your routine. Caffeine is habit-forming, after all.
Recently, though, you’ve been feeling especially anxious, or you’re having digestive issues. Drinking coffee is not going to help with those issues. Perhaps it’s time to consider an alternative routine.
Even the most innocuous habits are worth evaluating. If you do something, think about why.
Align your goals with your values
Okay, so you’ve identified something in your life you’d like to change. Now what?
When considering a New Year’s resolution, think about what’s important to you. What do you value that you’re not currently devoting enough energy to? It will be a lot easier to stick with your goal if it’s something meaningful.
If health and wellness are a priority, then maybe you should make a dietary change or add more physical activity to your routine. If you want to be more present with your loved ones, see where in your day you can find 15-30 minutes of quality time to spend with family or friends. If giving back is important, inquire about volunteering with a local youth sports team or community group.
Don’t just make a resolution because everyone else is doing it. Think about what’s important to you, and let that guide your thinking.
Take small, actionable steps
No one’s going to argue that spending less time doom-scrolling is a bad idea. But how are you going to use that extra time? Nature abhors a vacuum, as they say. Decide how you’re going to spend those extra 30 minutes ahead of time—perhaps reading a book or calling a friend—so that you’re not tempted to fall back into old habits.
Just as importantly, remember that there’s a reason why cliches like “Rome wasn’t built in a day” exist. Good habits take time to form, just as bad habits take time to break. Having goals is a great first step, but you need a plan to get there. Without one, the path forward will remain a hazy vision shrouded in uncertainty. If you want to start running, you can’t expect to roll out of bed and finish a marathon. Run the first mile and go from there.
When staring at a mountain in front of you, it’s easy to become overwhelmed by the immensity of the task ahead. But all it takes is putting one foot in front of the other, over and over again. Just because it’s simple doesn’t make it easy, but with a plan and consistent effort, it can be done.
Be patient with yourself
One of the hardest but most important steps of this process is to have patience with yourself. That doesn’t mean you should go rogue whenever you feel like it, but remind yourself that the process of enacting lasting change is not always linear. You want to be trending in the right direction, of course, but there is room for error in the process.
You are allowed to fall short of your ideals. If you were perfect, you wouldn’t be human. It’s always hardest to be kind to ourselves but speak to yourself like you would a friend. It’s important to avoid the doom-and-gloom negative self-talk spiral, in which you repeat certain narratives to yourself over and over again so often that you believe them.
It’s good to stay motivated, but don’t be too hard on yourself. Being overly self-critical can backfire. It’s easy to get discouraged and fall off course, especially when you aren’t being kind to yourself.
Every day is a new day, and each one provides another opportunity to try again. Nothing in life is static. It may feel like the way things are now is the way they’re always going to be, but that isn’t so.
Most importantly, remember this: your worth as an individual isn’t tied up in achieving some goal. You are worthy of love because you exist, and there are no conditions besides that. Soften your heart to yourself and others, and you will find peace and fulfillment this new year.
“Hi, I’m Andrew Mercein, and I want to personally invite you to be a part of our community. ‘The Way Home’ is a place for reflection, connection, and growth. Together, we’ll navigate life’s challenges and celebrate its beauty. Let’s walk this path together.”
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