“Fear is one of the greatest obstacles that draw us far away from the potential unlocking and dream fulfillment. Therefore, it behooves on us to make a choice between being a victim of your fears or facing your fears courageously.”
Every human being must have faced a particular kind of fear at one point or the other. This shows that it isn’t an entirely non-human feeling. Though fear could be normal, sometimes as danger triggers it, it becomes irrational when it lingers for too long, even after the danger is gone. If not addressed, it can result in extreme perniciousness, especially as it involves anxiety and depression.
Apart from causing havoc, it can also hold us back in life. As humans, we have got great potentials to unlock and dreams to fulfill. However, fear is one of the greatest obstacles that draw us far away from unlocking and fulfillment. Regarding this, we can talk of fear of success, failure, abandonment, etc. The reality is that you have to choose between being a victim of your fears or facing your fears courageously.
What is the source of fear?
While Jack was in secondary school, he had a terrible experience that impacted his public toilets’ fear. On a fateful day, while the lecture was ongoing, he sought the teacher’s permission to use the toilet. The story building had a male toilet on the ground floor. He decided to check the toilet cubicles one after the other. The first one was spotless, and he decided to tour the second one.
On getting there, he discovered a man who has to hide in the compartment, obviously to avoid being noticed. Out of fear, he screamed out. Fortunately, his legs were in consonance with the next line of action he had in mind – he ran with fear. The hiding man also followed him. Jack couldn’t have been aware of the running and jumping skills he demonstrated to get away from an imminent attack.
The man couldn’t catch up with Jack. His intention was to hold Jack hostage to evade police arrest.
Just as expected, the occurrence was a defining moment in the life of Jack. It’s after effect was the fear of toilets in public spaces. Even if he has to use one, he would always ask a friend to accompany him. This is the same with a lot of us. Our fear was a result of what happened to us in the past. In other words, the source of our fears could be a result of an experience, which is especially known. At other times, the root might be unknown, that it requires us to take a deep reflection.
In another light, the past experiences might be what actually occurred to someone else, rather than us. For instance, think of the gory sight of someone who fell off a tall building. Being an eyewitness might make you get scared of height for life. Also, if you’ve seen someone who got drowned, you may not be willing ever to visit a pool or beach.
How to overcome your fears
Whether subtle or obvious, it is necessary to eliminate your fear before taking a heavy toll on your present and future life. You cannot overcome fear by visiting the gym regularly to develop a great physique and muscular fitness. Come on; it isn’t no physical “person” you can engage in combat.
This article presents five effective steps that can help you deal with your fear.
1. Take some time out
When you are overwhelmed with fear, it is impossible to think straight and clearly. You tend to wallow in the pool of confusion. To avoid this state of uneasiness, it is important to take physical time out to calm your nerves. There are many techniques you can employ to distract yourself from the present worry or fear.
You can talk a walk around your neighborhood, have a cold bath, or go through the process of making a cup of homemade coffee. You can also appreciate nature. Being in nature has been said to help minimize fear and anxiety as well as increase pleasant feelings. This is because nature is home to beautiful sceneries connected with happiness, hope, and being alive. The goal is to relieve you of the fears that prevent you from focusing on other important areas of your life.
2. Identify and acknowledge your fears
The first step to overcome your fears is by identifying them and seeing them for what they are. It is impossible to deal with an enemy that you do not know. All efforts directed towards such an adventure would only be in futility. Due to the fact that most of our fears are subtle, we tend to ignore them while they rule our lives. Unknown to us, they transform into emotional threats.
Look for areas of your life that cause you to fear. Think of past experiences that are a major source of your fears. When you become aware of your fears, you are simply moving them into the light, unlike when they were in the dark. They would no longer be scary.
To discover these sources of fear, you may have to carry out a form of self-evaluation by asking a few questions, including the following: Why am I actually afraid of? What is causing my anxiety? What are some of my most obvious and biggest fears? Who are those people I avoid out of fear? What are the things I want to do but couldn’t do out of being scared? Write out all your fears to identify their sources.
3. Face your fears
By avoiding your fears, you are only strengthening their impact on you. Thus, they become scarier. However, when you stand against them, you will realize that they are “on the other side of your life” rather than being in your life. How do you face your fears? It is simply by doing the things that you are scared or afraid of.
What are those things you are afraid of doing? Get doing them. Are you afraid of getting into a lift? Please get back to the lift the next day and use it. Are you scared of rejection? Simply place yourself in a position of rejection and get used to the feelings that often accompany it. Are you scared of speaking in public? Take a course on public speaking, practice, and start speaking in public. You might not be perfect, but you can walk your way to perfection.
Are you scared of staying around the ocean? Get out and get comfortable with being there. Doing what you are scared of doing and doing it repeatedly will help you garner the confidence you require to deal with it.
4. Develop a positive attitude
Of course, your fears are a result of negative experiences. They reinforce your perception of the world as a scary place. It is impossible to deal with these negative feelings or thoughts simply by stopping to think about them. Effectively dealing with them requires you to develop a positive attitude. Think of that lovely person that gives you hope. Identify the beauty in nature. Find humor in every situation, even if it is challenging.
People with positive attitudes do not give up when others do. They do things differently and find opportunities in every situation. Rather than get overwhelmed with “What ifs,” visualize a positive experience, for instance, a negative thought, such as “What if my proposal gets rejected?” will only amplify your fear. Instead, try to visualize what will happen if your proposal gets accepted.
In other words, while the emotion of fear can incapacitate you, positive emotions and attitudes are a great motivation that can drive you towards success.
5. Reward yourself
Please think of the joy that often accompanies getting a reward for success or a job well done and try to relate it with the fulfillment you get from rewarding yourself for accomplishing a difficult task. You finally made that call you’ve always dreaded? You eventually became a best-selling author? Or overcome the fear of riding a bike or flying a plane?
Give yourself a treat. It could be as simple as having your favorite meal at a restaurant or going to a cinema to see an interesting movie. Offer yourself whatever makes you happy, no matter how little it is. No success is too inconsequential to celebrate. Besides, rewards have a way of motivating people by taking risks or fears become more attractive.
As humans, we are got our goals and expectations imposed on us by society. We’ve also got insecurities and fears. Though the failure to attain certain milestones might not make us less human, there are always several bold steps that can take us in the right direction. We don’t have to be victims of our fears.
As already said, fear comes from experience and old beliefs that block you from taking the necessary moves. Once you recognize it and create a shift in your mind, you can move past them. In other words, a shift in your mindset is critical to helping you rise above your fears. Embrace fear. Face it. Overcome it.
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